This review is part of the Paris Hilton season.   1 Night in Paris is one of the very first modern celebrity sex tapes and - to my knowledge - the only one to feature links and introductions from one of its 'stars'. The plot revolves around Rick Salomon, a sexually-charged Scrappy Do, coercing his nineteen year old girlfriend, Paris Hilton, into stripping and performing sexual acts in front of his video camera. A lot of themes are thread through the narrative: relationship power balance, the naïvety of youth, the meaning of love and the quest for orgasm. While Salomon chooses to ham up his performance, really relishing his role as the villain, Paris plays an understated performance as a simple teenage girl ...

This movie review is part of the Paris Hilton season If someone tells you to imagine a horrifying experience in a house of wax, your hand instinctively darts to protect your bikini line, right? This film turns that notion up to eleven, as we will find out. But first, a prologue: It's 1974. It's breakfast time. Some parents are trying to feed their two children. One is as quiet as a mouse, the other screams and fights so much that they feel compelled to tape him down to the high chair. What. Flashing forward to the present day, Paris Hilton and her friend Carly are going on a road trip up to a big football game somewhere. It doesn't matter where. Joining them ...

Such is the strength of my commitment to the Shouting at Cows’ Paris Hilton Season I managed to track down a complete episode of her new reality TV show, The World According to Paris! The show concentrates on Paris’s attempts to grow up as she approaches her 30th birthday, and each episode begins with the following voice-over from Paris: 'Drama always seems to find me. At some point we all have to grow up. I'm almost 30 and I want to settle down and have kids someday, but I have so much going on. I'm starting to realise that my actions have bigger consequences, I can't even eat like I used to. I knew that things would have to change eventually, ...

Paris Hilton Week Continues with some Arts n' Crafts! I'm sure you're all enjoying Paris Hilton week from the comfort of your own home, but you're probably thinking, 'is there any way I can enjoy it in a more tangible way?' And the answer is yes, my friends you can because now you can make your own Paris Hilton doll. Perhaps your daughter, niece or baby sister is a big Paris fan? Or maybe you want that special something for your mantlepiece? Follow these simple instructions and that dream can become a reality. You will need:   Cheese (preferably Edam, nothing crumbly - the rubberier the better) A Pepper Pickled Onions (or olives) Humus or Guacamole Sliced Meat A Glass Bottle A Knife (ask your parents' permission, kids!) 1) To begin, we'll need the cheese If ...

It's Paris Hilton Season on Shouting at Cows. Welcome to your nightmares. Meet Nate. He's your average 20-something year old guy, looking for the right girl - we all know what it's like (swap the genders around, as required), right? Well, it turns out he already has the perfect girl in mind and he's been in love with her since he was six years old: Paris Hilton. Or her character, whatever. She was the prettiest girl in his class and everyone loved her, but her best friend was the ugliest, loserest girl in the class - a Nottie. We jump forward to the present day: Nate's being dumped by his lunatic girlfriend. She hates that he writes silly songs about all the ...

When the writing team at National Lampoon were first approached to make a movie starring Paris Hilton, they were clearly aware of her acting limitations and so wrote the character of Victoria English to be, well, her. The result is Pledge This!, the annoyingly-punctuated comedy movie that IMDB readers have voted the 11th worst movie EVER.  Worse than The Tony Blair Witch Project and Fat Slags.  We're going in.  We should note that while the film is narrated by Victoria English, Paris had clearly had enough by this point, and they got a voice double in. Victoria English is the sorority princess at her college, and is a bit of a bitch.  She slates her friends for having the wrong nail colour, ...