The semi-final is upon us at last and it is hard to tell if the remaining Tools have made any discernible improvement. Just four couples remain; Idle Tool, Houdini Tool, Debt Tool and Power Tool. Will any of them ever become men? This week's class is HONESTY. Dr. Scott patiently explains that honesty is the strong foundation that a relationship is based on. Power Tool immediately starts blaming girlfriend Kelly's previous ...

So here we are. Ready for FOUR HOURS of X Factor Final action. Are we ready? I’m not sure. The final’s between 46 year old Amelia Lily, singing hairdresser Marcus and Little Mix, who Tulisa keeps trying to insist on calling Little Muffins which is surely not the way to go when they’re so sensitive about their weight. So yeah, any of them could win and no one really cares. Because ...

Here we are, the final of the Young Apprentice!  Finalists James and Zara are facing off to win a £25,000 trust-fund and the hearts of a nation. They’ll be making an online game and viral advert before pitching their idea to the patented Industry Experts.  The disinterested former firees are brought back, and we’re thrilled to see that Mahamed was allowed out to play.  They start with a briefing at game ...

If you’re having fun over the festive period, then you probably haven’t given much thought to whether your partner is cheating on you.  In the world of Pick Me Up, if you don’t think your “man is doing the dirty”, then you’re just not looking hard enough. They’ve got in touch with a Private Investigator, who offers his top ten ways to catch a Christmas Cheat.  And honestly, they are absolutely ...

Today's Daily Mail contains a Playboy advert disguised as a tetchy whinge about Lindsay Lohan - "So much for the big reveal! Lindsay Lohan's nude Playboy cover leaked online. Playboy bunny shaped chair covers her modesty." Curiously, they seem annoyed that Lohan isn't naked on the cover, or rather - she is naked, but you can't see anything. Obviously, Playboy aren't going to pay Lohan a billion quid or whatever the ...

The Ultimate Guide to Penny Pinching, C4 In case you didn't already know, there's a recession on. While most of us flounder around wasting our money on buying actual things we want for the actual price they cost, there are people who have beaten the system. I sit back with my note pad and prepare to learn some serious pro-tips. 39 year old Judith is addicted to money off coupons. We follow ...

Welcome to number 1 in a series of 1 of the Greatest Men Who Have Ever Lived. But not the ones who cured diseases, ended wars, saved lives or forced change for good. Oh no. Who wants to read about them? Here I’ll celebrate those great men whose existence made the world a more interesting place. The men who when you read their obituary will make you think “Huh – ...

If you're a tool now is the time to hide behind the sofa, because the Academy is back for another week of classes. Which Tool will fail, and be sent home to be an epic loser forever? It is morning, and the Tools are awoken by a tiny guru 'omming' in the middle of their dormitory. Openly referring to him as 'wee man' might not be the best way to proceed ...

It’s the candidates’ day off, so they play catch in the garden in front of a camera crew, like they always do. Unexpectedly, Lord Sugs turns up and tells them that the next task will be “corny”. Literally! They’re making popcorn! These will be pitched to an airline, a cinema and a supermarket, and the team with the most sales win. Oh, the losing team will be fired entirely, and one ...

The Republican party are currently having polls to decide who is going to run against Barack Obama in the forthcoming US Elections. Now the Republican Party is quite mental at the best of times, but this year, it’s even more absurd. The main reason for this is because Barak Obama and the incumbent Democrat Party destroyed the Republicans in 2009. And I mean DESTROYED. The sheer volume of seats the ...

Modern tabloid media is not so much an expression of courageous journalists who risk life and limb for a story, but more a heady mix of hiding in bushes, laying in gutters and the odd bit of bin collection. The days of Watergate have been replaced by lurid tales of cocaine binges and 4-in-a-bed romps. The big stories are no longer to do with insider trading or back-hand political deals, but who ...

Super Tiny Animals, ITV1I'm a woman, so therefore genetically programmed to find tiny animals irresistible. A tiny dog-sized horse! A pig in a tea-cup! Anyway, that's enough of that. Like most things wrong with society, the blame for this tiny-animal cancer debilitating our society can be laid firmly at the feet of the Americans. Specifically Paris Hilton and her handbag-dogs. In Florida dog boutique owner Laura is happy to capitalise on ...