Note: There will be no spoilers in this review. Despite having a title with such ridiculous punctuation that it sounds like Ethan Hunt's latest assignment is to agree terms with an Impossible Ghost, Mission: Impossible 4 could well be the best of the Mission: Impossible films. No, nothing will beat the original film - it's old enough to be rebranded as classic and can no longer be touched by sequels. Still, this ...

Can you hear the squeals of excitement from the mouths of babes? Can you feel electricity in the air caused by friction from leotard thrusting in homage to our ebony queen? Can you see all the furrowed brows from confused excitement? It can only mean one thing. Beyoncé has squeezed out a bundle of slippery, blood soaked joy. Obviously, I have recounted this moment in my head and it was ...

Single girl Cara has come to Spain to meet 11 of Britain's most eligible bachelors. Unfortunately, as in real life, some of them are gay. Cara has to work out which ones are straight; if she picks a gay man then he will win all the prize money. Yes, of course, there's money involved. Now, my gaydar is horrendous, but I am going to attempt to predict which of the participating ...

Because there are loads of things going on in the world which don't involve the economy. Such as... ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Burger King France releases a Darth Vader burger Major conglomerates look for inspiration in a variety of places, and what better than for a food company to design a burger based on a masked fella who used to crack people over the head with a light-stick. Ignoring the fact that a black bunned burger ...

Channel 5 have a new series where celebrities organise a couple's wedding in secret. It's essentially Don't Tell The Bride That A Celebrity is Organising Our Wedding. Tonight, burlesque dancer Beulah and her batting-well-above-average fiancé James, will hand over all the details of their wedding to a mystery celebrity guest, who has two weeks to put it together. We're treated to a preview of the celebrities helping out other couples in the ...

  The famous have found Twitter to be a fantastic tool for them to make utter tits of themselves to a baying crowd. The regularity of public outcry following someone in the public eye making a colossal fool out of themselves is so constant, that if I were a celeb, I wouldn’t go anywhere near the thing. In fact I’d probably bin all my electronics and live as a Quaker. Just ...

IT'S BACK! After months of darkness on Saturday night returns our favourite: Take Me Out. Paddy McGuinness (who else?) is of course still presiding over the show where 30 single ladies demand to be impressed by single gentlemen who are after the sweet-embrace of a woman. Over the course of the next few weeks, we'll learn the girls' names but for now there are 21 yeses,  3 maybes and 6 nos. Paddy introduces us to some ...

Have you seen ITV1’s Saturday evening line-up recently? Since the fiX-Factor has finished, it’s clogged up with repeats, Westlife and, inexplicably, It'll be Alright on the Night . You know what we at Shouting at Cows miss? We miss Sir Paddy McGuinness overseeing the dating-show revolution that sees 30 of the lands finest women pass judgment over male contestants. We miss Take Me Out. And we’re sure you do too. Aside ...

In many ‘fringe’ sports and forms of entertainment, there is a catalyst which bring it to national popularity. With B-Movie/Exploitation horror films, it was the studios of Roger Corman. With darts, it was Phil ‘The Power’ Taylor. With wrestling, it was Texas’ finest ‘Stone Cold’ Steve Austin. Well for snooker, there was one man who took the beautiful game from out of smoke-filled, dimly lit men’s clubs in Bermondsey, and into ...

Waltz With Bashir (2008) Dir. Ari Folman Waltz With Bashir is an intelligently scripted and beautifully animated piece of art. Directed by Ari Folman, it is an autobiographical feature film on the 1982 Lebanese War. The style, which is often mistaken for rotascoping; made famous by Richard Linklater in movies such as A Scanner Darkly, where animation is traced over live action, Waltz With Bashir is actually created using traditional animating techniques. ...

"While three women were shot dead in Peterlee, how many officers were busy policing the hunting ban?" shouts a RightMinds headline in the Mail, over an article by the Rev. George Pitcher. I would like to know how many police officers were out on New Year’s Day enforcing the wholly useless Hunting Act, before deranged taxi driver Michael Atherton murdered his partner, two of her female relatives, wounded a third and ...

It’s 2012. Do you fucking believe it? We should all be on hover boards, wearing silver leggings and goggles with integrated computers. Instead, I’m sitting up in bed, wearing three jumpers, under two duvets, hugging my doughnut-faced pillow. How our expectations have preceded us. Every time a new year comes along, we are excited by the new clean slate held out before us with all its prospects. What we soon ...