Welcome, fellow reality TV voyeurs, to episode three of Playing it Straight. This week at the villa the boys will be tested on their straightness by their ability to unfasten a lady's bra. A test, perhaps, that would leave quite a few members of the male population fumbling all over the place. That's right! It's sex week! The boys have to de-bra four ladies in the quickest time while wearing goggles. 'I ...

Antony Worrall Thompson.  His name alone is irritating. Worrall?  Is that a first name or a surname?  Worrall.  It sounds like Cilla Black being sick. AWT is best known as a celebrity chef, a tedious non-job that involves what, cooking sausages on the telly?  Well done, mate.  In fairness to him, he has opened a series of actual restaurants, where people pay over the odds in the hope that he, personally, ...

Movie trailers are a curious thing - they need to show enough of the good bits of a film to entice the audience to watch, without giving away too many of the plot turns or twists. Hence, they are normally only a minute or two long. There is one movie trailer however that disagrees. The trailer for 1987 action film, Deadly Prey, is nearly seven minutes long and appears to be ...

It was a week where I don't think there was any Take Me Out news in the tabloids, so we cracked straight on with Paddy McGuiness curiously starting the show with a vague football theme. I was half expecting the girls to all come out wearing football kits, which would be undeniably attractive, but they didn't. Paddy kicked off the show with Olly from Manchester who had arms like trees and justifiably ...

As a first impression, a movie's title can be all-important.  When it comes to Zombie Flesh Eaters, director Lucio Fulci took no chances, calling it six different things: Zombie, Island of the Living Dead, Zombie Island, Zombie Flesh Eaters, Woodoo and Zombi 2.  Zombi 2 is our favourite, as the original, unrelated, Zombi is the Italian title for Dawn of the Dead. The opening is centred on a boat that mysteriously ...

‘Oh Pea Bo, you can’t do a top 6 list! What’s wrong with you?! THAT’S MENTAL. STOP IT. NO. NOO! NOT THE CHILDREN. OH GOD NOT THE CHILDREN!’ – how people reacted to me hovering over a child with a list. They said I couldn’t do it, and look at me now. Doing it. Hard. So anyway, a TOP sex sexiest sex scenes in the sexy films I’ve seen so far ...

If you haven’t already picked up the first issue of Transmetropolitan and instantly fallen in love with every inch of every page then you are mentally unstable and should probably be put down via fist to face. Now who wants that? Who really wants to be known as a sexually infected whore who murders babies? Exactly. You should read it. All of it. Scrawled eloquently by Warren Ellis and with the ...

There are nine possigays left, and Cara faces another week of inane challenges and faux romance. True to form the group immediately head off to a sausage museum to celebrate 'Spanish Week.' 'I love sausage,' declares Cara with not a hint of irony, 'what's your favourite sausage?' Dean, to whom that latter remark was directed, tries to show as little enthusiasm for sausages as possible. Back at the villa the boys split ...

From his beginnings as a child star, through the years as a young teenage pin-up, and now firmly established as one of the few truly brilliant performers left in Hollywood, Leonardo DiCaprio has got to be one of my favourite actors. To help with this transition, through either the genius workings of a stylist or simply the wonders of aging, Leo developed a new mature look within the space of ...

National Lampoon's Dorm Daze is a triumph of taking the most tedious comedy conventions, and showing persistence in repeatedly repeating them until the repetition drives you insane. The plot centres around an unconvincing bulldog-faced tit called Styles, and his unconvincing brother called Booker (Sherman from American Pie), who live together in a dorm-room. Already, the bollocks sirens are going off. Sherman is a virgin, and his brother wants to change that. ...

What a week it's been for Take Me Out. SEX SCANDALS! ESCORTS! Okay, that's it - but frankly that's enough. Aaron and Wen, who headed off to Fernandos together were both revealed to be escorts! So they'll have something in common... but it's ruined all my plans for several 'Wen/When' puns, as their date is entirely edited it of this week's show. The girls come out and Paddy gets chatting to some, ...

I like Jeremy Clarkson. Sort of. It's a tricky thing to justify, as he's part of the right-wing brigade of hysterical journalists and media folk that will bark up any tree that looks remotely like it might be pulped to produce The Guardian. Much like the likes of Platell, Phillips, Penny et al, Clarkson enjoys smugly vomiting out whatever reactionary opinion his pancreas squeezes into his brain. Like the others, he ...