Lord of the Wins: Competition Time

Hey! You! Shouting at Cows wasn’t around when blockbusting film The Lord of the Rings came out, but if it had been, then we’d probably have been a bit sarcastic about it and then fallen over and died when we found out just how popular it was.

But where is it now? £18 on Play. At £2 an hour to sit through everyone’s favourite goblin-bashing extravaganza, you’d be hard pushed to find better value than sitting and giggling at how badly the CGI has aged. Apart from the 17 disk set of the Best of Russell Howard, which sees the bozz-eyed monkey staring gormlessly at you in real-time over the course of a day.

If you’ve not seen the Lord of the Rings yet, or, for some reason, have actually sat through 9 hours of it and still want to see it again, then this is your lucky day! We’re giving away copies of all three films, in slightly battered boxes. These are the full extended editions, so you can fully appreciate the effects of deep vein thrombosis and require an amputation or however they cure DVT.

There’s lots of ways you can enter, and I’ve listed some of them on the lines below this one.

Tell us a funny story. Go on, you must have done something funny. Or had something funny happen. Make us laugh.

Cut off a limb. The bigger the limb, the more impressive. An arm will win out over a toe every time.

Gratuitous nudity. We reserve the right to delete your email without reading it if your name is Colin or Norman, though.

Anything else at all. A begging letter, blackmail, threats of anthrax or a thesis detailling why the Terminator trilogy is clearly miles better. Even T3, which was a bit silly, but had some cool CGI.

e-mail us: blog@shoutingatco.ws and some lucky sod will have their DVDs winged almost literally to them. Assuming the postman can be bothered to deliver it.

We might post your entries if we like them, but if you really don’t want us to, then say.