Come on my Facebook
Facebook has added this whole new level of awkwardness in friendships and relationships. Kids everywhere are jumping out of windows over the fear of whether to set their relationship status as “single” or “it’s complicated”.
The trouble with Facebook is that everything is so up-front: You’re in a relationship, or you’re not. You’re tagged in a photo. You drunkenly updated your status to say that you fucking hate all the fuckers you were out with, and now they can all see it.
Worst of all is the Friend Request. Someone wants to be your friend. You don’t have to ask to be friends with someone in real life, you just sort of hang around each other until you know them well enough to invite them out for a pint, turn up at their house or sleep with their daughter.
With a friend request, someone out there has taken the time out to look for you and wants to interact with you in a weird Internety way. What do they want? To look through your photos and giggle at the ones where you’ve had too much to drink and look like you’re asleep? Or for the ladies, to search hopefully through for a bikini shot?
Far too many people think that someone they went to school with will find it hilarious to play at e-Zombies, hilariously pretending to bite your arm off. You want to make them stop? Respond by telling them you have HIV. Bite on that, cocko.
The worst thing about making e-friends with someone, or even someone from your past is that a lot of people don’t really have a lot to say. Hell is perpetual status updates.
made a boo boo
would love to bottle the smell of smoked bacon so I can smother myself with it
justs wants a lie-in – why can I never get back to sleep!
The worst are people who are bored, tired or hungover – at any given time, I am at least two of those. Is that what we’re sharing with each other? I’m bored, so I’m on Facebook, so I’m updating my status so that in case anyone were wondering, they’d know I were bored and then they could come round to my house with a bag of magical excitement and then the world would be fantastic. Why don’t you just kill yourself, at least that would be fucking interesting.
Its a sign of the times. People lack the social skills to actually go out and meet new and interesting people. So they ask to ‘make friends’ with complete strangers, or friends of friends of friends. It all reminds me a little bit to much of being 8 years old , asking a girl to ask her mate if she likes you.
I binned my facebook account the instant it got boring….about 2 weeks after i signed up and had spoken to everyone I already spoke to anyway in real life.