Before you start reading, this really is a post about my inability to fit windscreen wipers. My life really is that empty. If you were hoping for a story about tits, fire and Batman, then I’m sorry. Cars mystify me. I can’t even tell you in basic terms what happens under the bonnet when...
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Archive for July, 2009
Blades Of Bitter Failure
Should your date be exciting?
Advertising on the Internet is really bloody difficult to get right. This is why you’ve got a billion emails in your spam box with silly lies to make you open them – “Wanna look fantastic in that bikini? Be fit with us” right next to “Keep your manhood in good shape for you and...
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Fucking Fallout
Aside from the shit idea that was Ears Day, blogging has been a bit light lately. Which means you (yes YOU) have been spared my trite observations, rubbish jokes and creative spelling. There’s only one reason for this. And it’s a video game: Fallout 3. When it comes to videogames, I end up buying...
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Ears Day: Types of Ear
Much like a hooker will cover up her despair and sadness with a pair of fancy knickers, ears can be spruced up in a number of ways. Here’s your guide to things what you can do to your ears what can make them look all better, yo. Plastic ears are much like plastic tits...
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Ears Day: Rhyme Zone
Missy Elliott once said I mean, when it’s time to rhyme rhyme, I can get down for mine. when I Googled just then for quotes about rhymes, and it’s profoundly nonsensical enough to open this article about things that rhyme! With ear! Zaire is full of people who have ears! Jason McAteer has ears!...
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Ears Day: Famous Ear Wearers
We’ve (almost) all got ears, but here’s some people who are famous for their ears. Famous in the sense that it’s the bit before their name in the tabloids. You know the bit. “Roly-poly funnyman Ricky Gervais”, “mustachioed Jew botherer Adolf Hitler” or “potato faced granny shagger Wayne Rooney”. Here’s people with ears. Captain...
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Welcome to Ears Day!
For those of you who have never heard of ears, Wikipedia defines them as: The ear is the organ that detects sound. The vertebrate ear shows a common biology from fish to humans, with variations in structure according to order and species. It not only acts as a receiver for sound, but plays a...
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Dear Auntie Internet… #2
Are you still complaining? Really? You’ve really got something wrong with you? Oh, bloody hell, go on then. Let’s hear it. I went to have my tarot cards read the other day, and the reader told me my relationship was due to go through a troubled time, which it might not recover from. I’m...
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