A bad back is the gift that keeps on giving, offering you an exciting opportunity to wake up each morning without knowing if you’ll be able to get out of bed at the first attempt. To make tomorrow morning a little easier, I booked myself in for a massage. Google, who are the best...
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Archive for June, 2009
Rubbed up the Right Way
Other Websites what I done words for: June 2009
As well as writing rubbish on here, I’ve been guest-blogging on other people’s sites and spoiling things for everyone. Here’s some links to what I did. Radio argh-argh: Radio 1 makes me want to listen to Radio 2/drive off a cliff Bitterwallet.com – Deathwatch: Setanta Sports falls into administration Hecklerspray.com – Television Review: Alan...
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Companies To Hate: British Telecom
When I last moved house, I was painfully aware of how difficult those first few weeks are before having all the techy bits set up – no Sky (the house didn’t even have an aerial, so it was gathering round a 14 inch portable with a mini aerial hanging out the window) – and...
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Why I Shouldn’t Shop Hungry
Weekends used to be brilliant, spending hours sat in my boxer shorts on the floor watching shit on TV and playing computer games. Now I’m supposed to be a bit more grown up, and can’t bum about all the time, I have to actually Do Things at the weekend. The things I should do...
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Rubbish Talents #1: Impressionists
As Britain’s Got Talent testified, “talent” can be pretty diverse, and doesn’t just encompass “good things” like singing, dancing and turning somersaults. Terrifying and bullying a dog into standing on two legs and ballroom dancing doesn’t take talent, it takes a sadistic streak. Plate spinning too is spectacularly pointless. I’m not trying to piss...
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The Fall of Saddam in Slow Motion
The war in Iraq has been rumbling on for six years now, despite nobody really knowing what’s going on there. Saddam is long dead, and in a plot twist that was written precisely for this decade, his death was shown on YouTube. And apart from that, not a lot has actually happened. World War...
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Top Ten: 90s Gameshows
Remember the 90s? Of course you do, unless you’re one of those irritating sods that’s sprung up over the last couple of years that were actually born in the last decade. Even so, thanks to Satellite TV’s need to fill hour after hour of airtime with cheap programming, you can experience 90s telly in...
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Twat to the Future
As much as I love having gadgets, toys and new technology, I hate buying them. No matter what you’re buying, a computer, TV or Optimus Prime, there’s hundreds of different options to take into consideration, a thousand online reviews letting you know about what’s important, and tens of gormlesstwonks stood around in Currys not...
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Left Behind
Victorian children sound like they had a bit of a shit time of it. If they didn’t die (which most of them did), then it was a rubbish life of picking bits of coal out of the ground, not playing X-box and dying. In a shocking statistic that I’ve just made up but sounds...
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