Comic Relief has come and gone in another haze of shameless self-publicity, rattling buckets and Graham sodding Norton. The overriding theme this year was “do something funny for money” (screw a fat prostitute?), but the real theme, as with every year, was to do something a bit wacky. This entails normally very sensible people...
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Archive for March, 2009
It’s not wacky, you’re just an idiot
The Apprentice Episode 0: The Profiles
The BBC’s annual business-dick-a-thon is back, and with it a new army of gurning, money crazed muppets ready to do Business. To prepare you for the abject horror that you’ll get from seeing these people smarming their way across your screen, the BBC have printed up a dick-by-dick guide. Try to spot who will...
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Eggheads
Quiz shows used to be so simple: Question, answer, prize. Question, answer, prize. Gamble? Ooh, you’ve lost the lot. Let’s rub into your face just what a Thicky McThickerson you are by showing you just what you could have won. People showing off became boring (unless they’re showing off properly on University Challenge), and...
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Legalised mugging in the pub
Never before have there been so many flimsy excuses to liberate you of your hard-earned. Beggars in the street, definitely not buying drugs; badly worded missives from African Princes offering a share of their fortunes; Sex phone-lines, text messages, picture messages, hand-jobs, web-cams and participate-at-home masturbatathon channels. Drunk people are always an easy target...
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I hate you Gary Sparrow
In Back to the Future Part Two, the character Biff manages to take a sports almanac back in time, giving him the ultimate edge over the bookmakers. The Terminator visits the past to eliminate the mother of the leader of the resistance, before she has the chance to give birth to him. Ray Bradbury’s...
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Shut up, Steve Bruce
I was amazed and pleased that Adrian Chiles decided to call out Steve Bruce on MOTD 2 over his ludicrous assertion that the defeat to Chelsea was somehow aided by the referee missing fouls in the lead up to both goals. The first took place a full two minutes before the goal (and is...
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