Movie Review: Prometheus (2012) by Stuart Taylor
(Spoilers lie ahead. Beware ye all who enter here)
When Ridley Scott made Alien in 1979, he effectively rewrote the form book for space sci-fi thrillers forever. Audiences packed cinemas, completely blind to the journey they were about to be taken on – a mysterious signal, creepy eggs, a weird-ass giant skeleton and the infamous Alien that would creep through the shadows of their own ship, killing them one-by-one. Everything was clouded in mystery and suspense: what the hell was going on? What happened to John Hurt? Why is Ash such a creepy dude?
So the real story of Prometheus is what Ridley Scott would bring us over thirty years after his first foray into the Alien universe. I say this is the real story because Christ only knows what the actual story of Prometheus was. Despite being a skeptic, I go into films and TV shows with a healthy dose of disbelief-suspension. I blanket my natural tendency to question things that don’t make any sense at all and try and enjoy the entertaining trip the film makers have prepared for me. Thus, I came out of Prometheus happy and entertained. But the more I think about it, the more I find myself saying, “wait a minute…”
Let’s start with the good, shall we? It’s an excellently made film – it’s pretty as hell, creepy and tense when it needs to be, and full of mystery horror. The very first scene, with the giant bald dude downing a shot of that Black Oil from The X Files and consequently dissolving his own DNA into the early Earth made me excited. ‘What is this crazy shit all about?’ I wondered. ‘I can’t wait to find out!’ Yeah, well, I’m still wondering.
The thing is, Prometheus is chock-full of intriguing mysteries and weird surprises that never seem to get explained. What exactly is going on in the opening scene? The black oil stuff only vaguely gets explained, as a guess from the ship’s Captain, but we don’t leave the film with any real understanding. Why does David infect Dr Holloway and then refuse to help Elizabeth when she gets impregnated with Alien horror? At first, primed with the plot of Aliens, you think it’s because the Weyland Corporation are on a mission to harvest alien life for profit. However, when you learn that David and Weyland actually have completely different plans, we have nothing to fall back on except that David is a dick? A robot programmed to be a massive dick. For some reason. In fact, here’s a list of things I want answers to:
- What the hell is the dude in the opening scene doing?
- Why is the spaceship so big when there are so few people on it?
- Why did the biologist come back to life as a murderous zombie?
- Why is David such a dick?
- Why does Weyland insist on getting out of his wheelchair when he’s so fragile that he could die at any moment?
- How did the entire crew get on the ship without meeting each other or knowing what the mission was?
- What made the oil jars start to react in the first place?
- How did Elizabeth get impregnated with an Alien? She slept with Dr Holloway, who’d been infected with the black oil, but… that’s not how Alien shit works, so… what?
The inspiration. Just stay right where you are, OK?
And here’s the most important question for me: Why did the Space Jockey leave his chair to chase down Elizabeth? Now, plot-wise, this is obvious – he wanted to steal her ship. But the whole genesis of this film was Ridley Scott’s dream to explore the history of the Space Jockeys and once we saw the Jockey get into his seat, just as the Nostromo crew find him in Alien, I thought, ‘Ah! Ridley Scott has completed the cycle, just as he planned!’ But then the damn Jockey gets out of the seat and dies elsewhere. Then who the hell is the original Space Jockey!?
I’m a scientist! Let’s science the shit out of this place!
And don’t get me started on the science. Oops, too late. The entire expedition to the mystery moon is funded on a trillion dollar cheque by the Weyland Corporation based on the fact that so-called scientist, Elizabeth, really, really wishes that the biological engineers of the human race live there. She admits that she’s got fuck-all evidence but ‘it’s what [she] chooses to believe”. This comes as a disappointment to the rest of the crew, most of whom are far too unstable to have qualified for a two-year trip across space to a distant moon. There must have been plenty of blow jobs given to Mr Weyland to score this gig, is all I’m saying. Here’s some more science coming atcha: why do the Space Jockeys and humans have identical DNA if they looked totally fucking different? This isn’t tricky biology, you guys. More science? Okay, what the hell were the weird dots in cave paintings all about? If they were stars, why did they say the system ‘has a star’ in it? If not stars then… what? Let’s not forget that 10,000 years is plenty of time for star systems to move. What about the fact that Elizabeth is happy to run about like an action hero immediately after some rather traumatic abortion surgery? What about that Elizabeth simultaneously holds onto her Christian faith and the Panspermia belief, despite the fact that they completely contradict each other? And why did the Jockey head explode?
The epic final scene
But I suppose, the real question is: what was the film about? After all, I can suspend my disbelief at the idiotic characters and anti-science, but I’m not sure what the story was. It wasn’t a horror/thriller about hiding from and fighting hostile aliens, despite having a bit of this in the finale. It wasn’t a mystery thriller because none of the mysterious elements were really answered. It wasn’t an exploration of the origins of humankind, because there wasn’t any closure on this idea, despite them arguing about it through the whole film. It tried to be a story about Elizabeth’s struggle to find the answers she so desperately craved, but this idea kept getting sidetracked by the many, many random threads woven into this film with no resolution. I don’t even like Elizabeth. She’s an idiot. That she’s the only survivor is a huge disappointment. The only person that talks any sense is Charlize Theron’s Vickers – and we’re meant to dislike her for being a huge bitch. But someone has to take charge – the Captain clearly doesn’t give a shit about anything.
Ultimately, I’m just disappointed that the damn Space Jockey left his seat. It’s like making a prequel to Titanic in which they build the Titanic but then it blows up before it can reach Southampton. Or making a prequel to Lethal Weapon in which Riggs never applies to be a cop. Or a prequel to Terminator in which Sarah Connor has a hysterectomy. Don’t ruin the whole fucking reason you made the film in the first place.
But it’s a fun watch, I guess.
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© 2012
The moon Prometheus is set on (LV223) isn’t the same one the Nostromo lands on in Alien (LV426).
I want to know where David got the ladder from when he opened the door.
Some answers and logical theories for you. I’ve only seen Prometheus once, but i tend to pay attention when i’ve chosen to watch something.
“What the hell is the dude in the opening scene doing?”
Being that he was unconcerned by the huge ship leaving, one can assume that it had dropped him off there to do something.
My interpretation was it was his job to drink the oil and contaminate the water supply in order to create more which could then be bottled later on.
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“Why is the spaceship so big when there are so few people on it?”
Well they’re storing all those vases for a start. Added to the fact that despite them being our ancestors, perhaps they’ve concentrated on advancing their technology rather than downsizing it. So their computers might still take up entire rooms. Got any imagination?
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“Why is David such a dick?”
He’s an earlier robot design, if you’ve seen “Aliens” (the second one), you’ll hear Bishop say the older models are a bit twitchy. Perhaps the much older models are unavoidably dickish.
Or it could be the fact he’s been ‘conscious’ for the entire voyage while everyone else was asleep. I’d be pissed about that too.
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“Why does Weyland insist on getting out of his wheelchair when he’s so fragile that he could die at any moment?”
Because he’s a selfish bastard? Using the walking machine means he doesn’t have to rely on someone else to push him should there be need to run away or select a human shield.
Also it could be deliberate by the film makers so that it doesn’t look like they’re beating up disabled/elderly people. Political correctness is mental in this day and age.
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“How did the entire crew get on the ship without meeting each other or knowing what the mission was?”
A valid question, i’m at least with you on this one. I also question how it is that such a complete and utter moron like Elizabeth was allowed to go in the first place.
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“What made the oil jars start to react in the first place?”
The change in ambient temperature from the group of humans who had entered the room perhaps? The extra moisture their exhaling breath created? Any number of factors that could be attributed to the room being disturbed by the intruders.
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“How did Elizabeth get impregnated with an Alien? She slept with Dr Holloway, who’d been infected with the black oil, but… that’s not how Alien shit works, so… what?”
It’s not how Alien shit works according to James Cameron. Have you seen the Directors Cut of Alien 1? Short version: The Xenomorph cocoons it’s victims whose bodies are then broken down to create the eggs. There is no queen. It wouldn’t be completely out of the question to introduce some oil into this process, perhaps something they’re saving for the next film.
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“Okay, what the hell were the weird dots in cave paintings all about? If they were stars, why did they say the system ‘has a star’ in it? If not stars then… what?”
Planets/Moons. When David was in the alien ship fiddling around with the computer, there were 6 planets rotating around in the display.
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“And why did the Jockey head explode?”
Why not? It was exposed to an unusual atmosphere when taken back to Prometheus, they stuffed an electrical charge into it. And it was very old.
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I don’t understand how you could have so many questions regarding a Science Fiction film.
Perhaps you should stick to Romantic Comedies and other brainless pap in future, that way you’ll avoid that nasty thing known as “using your imagination to fill in the gaps”.
Also why does everything have to be answered right now? It’s highly likely that there’s going to be at least 1 sequel to this film. Vickers might not be dead, we didn’t see her die, we just saw her running like a pillock along the line of the rolling ship, then tripping over.
Not to mention the other loose ends; chiefly the connection between oil and alien.
It does need a sequel because on its own it’s not good enough. Disappointing even.
I’ve seen the movie twice now and it seems to me that in the opening scene the “engineer guy” was dropped off onto earth. He sacrificed himself in drinking the oil to allow his DNA to be broken down and reconstitute itself into DNA which began life on earth. You saw the DNA breaking down then rebuilding itself.
What I want to know is this, the ampules contained two things 1. The viles of liquid that David the robot took back with him to the ship to infect the scientist and 2. The black oil. If the viles are the payload of the biological weapon they were storing then what the hell is the oil for. I know it is organic and I suspect that some of that oil leaked out which created the snake things. It’s all a bit over the place to me.
And yes, the engineer gets out of his chair to chase down Elizabeth … Why ? He doesn’t need her escape pod because there were lots more of those space ships of his. Also I wouldn’t have killed off Charlie’s Theron… She was a good character.
How is it that the DNA of the engineer and humans the same and yet they look different ? Easy, did you know that humans and apes share almost exactly the same DNA.