Like a lot of women in the world, I have a job. Every morning, I drag myself out of bed and surrender to the mind-melding tedium of an office-based existence. Just when I think I can’t stand it any longer, when it seems I will be sucked into a vortex of debilitating monotony and it feels like I have read everything on the internet, it’s the weekend. Then I get to begin the whole cycle again on Monday morning, crying and gnashing my teeth in resentment at the women who fought so that women could have the right to be equally bored in offices with the men. At the end of each month I am rewarded for my efforts with some money which, after I have paid for shelter and food, I waste on procuring unnecessary goods and services. Until now I didn’t realise that THERE IS ANOTHER WAY! Why am I bothering to go out and work for my stuff when I could sit at home on my ass and rinse men?

Don’t worry; I’m not considering some new, confusing form of prostitution. Rinsing is where women get gifts from men just for looking attractive; there is no sex involved. Like the fearless, investigative journalists they are, Channel 4 have tracked down this new breed of women (there’s three of them, as usual) and I’m sitting here, writing notes and getting tips. The golden rule of rinsing is apparently “The guys’ wallets stay open, but the girls’ legs stay closed”. Sounds easy enough.

33 year old Jeanette Worthington loves overpriced clothes and shoes. In order to get the things she wants, she seems to engage in some kind of high-class begging – hanging around designer shops taking pictures of things she likes and posting the pictures on her BBM profile. There the photos will be seen by “wealthy men she has met in exclusive clubs”. Sex is never an issue.

“I do nice things for my friends,” says Jeanette, quite reasonably confusing normal friend-like activities such as buying a broke friend a drink or two with buying a friend a £400 pair of designer shoes because they think they look nice. “But I don’t expect my friends to have sex with me.”

Fellow rinser Danica Thrall is so successful that she doesn’t even have to meet the men who shower her with stuff. She is “rinsing royalty” and clearly I can learn much from her. So how does successful lads’ mag model Danica get deluded men to buy her gifts? The answer is Twitter, which Danica believes has helped her make £20,000 in gifts in the last few months. And what do you get in return for sending Danica an £800 set of underwear or a £1,400 dress? A thank you tweet. Danica thinks it’s a fantasy of some men to buy girls gifts, but if I were them, I’d be feeling pretty short-changed.

Mansfield is not the sort of place I would expect to find many rich men, but 20 year old Holly is apparently doing okay with her rinsing. One of Holly’s favourite gifts was her husky, Simba, but her main priority is to cover her household expenses. She does actually meet and date her men, but expects them to all chip in to pay her gas bill.

“I prefer the old fashioned days, when the guys went out and worked and the women sat at home and looked pretty,” declares Holly, a line she follows up with: “You have to know how to play men to get what you want out of life.” Suddenly, the idea of having a job just seems so much simpler.

In fact, Holly has got a job. Her main source of income is being paid to walk on stilts in a bikini around the streets of Mansfield trying to entice people into provincial club Wonderland. This is where she meets the men whom she then goes on to rinse. Becoming a rinser does seem to require some initial start-up costs however. Fake tan, hair, boobs and lips are essential in order to gain the interest of rich man-friends. I’m beginning to think that I don’t really have what it takes. Holly is also a “Financial Dominatrix”, and men pay her to insult them about their income over Skype. FINALLY something that I could do.

It’s evident that Danica is in a totally different league from the other two rinsers; while Holly is flogging her unwanted gifts on ebay for £30, Danica has an Amazon wishlist that her fans can buy her presents from. Presents like Jimmy Choo shoes, Chanel make-up and an exfoliating peel-off mask that costs £33. Her Twitter is an endless stream of messages thanking men for offering to buy her gifts. Danica is trying to turn herself into a business, offering fans access to her life in return for cash. You can’t really blame her from making the most of her situation, and it’s probably a lot better than working in an office.

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