The Bachelor 2011: Episode 8 by Hannah

GAVIN IS DOWN TO HIS FINAL FIVE!

One of these girls is going to be Gavin’s girlfriend, possibly even his WIFE! This week there will be no luxury dates, and instead Gavin will be travelling the country to meet the families of his possible brides. Two girls will be voted off, and the remaining three will travel to St. Lucia with Gavin. I’ll be very surprised if Carianne isn’t one of those girls.

Gavin has been looking forward to meeting the girl’s families. Apparently if you have a good relationship with your parents it makes you a good person, like Gavin. Oh to inhabit the simplistic world of Gavin Henson.

Gavin’s journey begins in the West Midlands, where he’s come to meet Leila in a charming village. Leila is a definite contender for the crown of Gavin’s Girlfriend, but her past relationship with Simon from Blue and her appearance on the X Factor makes him wonder if she is just seeking fame. At Leila’s family home Gavin joins her relatives for a BBQ, and some awkward pre-arranged questions.

‘What is it you look for in a girl?’ asks Leila’s Mum, as her father watches beadily.

‘Someone I can completely trust. Trust is very important,’ replies Gavin, ‘Leila definitely has the qualities I’m looking for in a girlfriend.’

Leila’s family make it totally clear that they’re not fazed by Gavin’s celebrity. IS THAT THE RIGHT THING TO DO? Will Gavin think that Leila’s family are fame seeking celebrity hunters?

Gavin leaves Leila, it’s the last time he’ll see her before the Rose Ceremony, and heads over to Derby to meet Morgan. She has a request to make before she introduces him to her family; she wants him to call her Abby, which is her real name. At lunch with Morgan’s…sorry, Abby’s….mother and sister, Gavin is keen to ask what they think of her career as a glamour model. Then he asks if he can see her portfolio, and in a spectacularly awkward scene sits looking at topless pictures of her at the table with her family. He’s so smooth. Gavin goes away with doubts about whether he can accept Morgan’s career, but still has a cheeky snog with her behind the fence.

Next, Gavin has to get on a plane and fly to Lithuania to meet Zivile and her family. Zivile is an unusual participant in the competition, and before she takes Gavin to see her family, she finally reveals to him that she is a virgin. She is waiting for the right special person, and at this point I say a silent prayer that Gavin doesn’t pick her. He can’t be her special person. He must know this.

By the time Gavin meets Zivile’s family, he is terrified, particularly of her father and brother. Zivile has told him that they are pretty protective, and there is a language barrier so possibility for all kinds of misunderstandings. After lunch is over, it’s time for the men to talk. Zivile’s father seems a little bemused by this strange Welshman turning up with cameras, but comes to the conclusion that Gavin is a good guy. If that’s actually what he is saying.

There are just two girls left now, and I’m hoping that seeing Carianne’s Mum will explain where she got her bitch-face from. April is first however, and Gavin travels to Hemel Hempstead to meet her Father and Nan. Gavin eats Nan’s cake and she is impressed with him. This is all very charming and BORING. I miss Carianne. Luckily it’s time to meet Carianne’s Mum before I doze off. She wastes no time in asking Gavin all kinds of awkward questions, starting with questions about his children. Unlike Morgan, Carianne thrusts her modelling portfolio in Gavin’s face.

‘I’m not a glamour model,’ she insists, as Gavin stares at a picture of her topless.

Carianne’s mother encourages her to do Page Three, and when Gavin shows signs of being awkward with the idea, she gives him a grilling. Apparently Gavin is worried because he works in a cut throat environment, and there is a lot of banter. If he were to date a topless model there would be a topless picture of her on a projector in every meeting he went to. Luckily, his ridiculous appearance in The Bachelor won’t result in any ‘banter’ at all. Not even a picture of him dressed as the Roman God of love blown up on a projector.

IT’S ROSE CEREMONY TIME! This could go any way, and I’m on the edge of my seat. Gavin is wearing an ill-advised skinny tie, and looks incredibly serious. In an ideal world a man could have five wives and no one would judge. I can barely hope to convey the excitement I’m feeling right now through the dull, leaden medium of words….

LEILA! WOO!

CARIANNE! WHAT A SURPRISE!

And……..

APRIL!

Morgan and Zivile are going home. I’m incredibly relived for Zivile, but I suspect that Gavin’s good name will be freely abused in Lithuania for some time to come.

Comments

1. Pete says:

   October 17, 2011 at 1:17 pm

   Great piece, only thing to alter is that Gavin is Welsh not English if being pedantic!

   Keep up the good work

Leave a Reply