Is Bob Crow an Undercover Conservative? by Nick Bryans

Look at the enthusiasm he waves that flag with. It's charisma that Guevara himself could only dream of having.

Winston Churchill once said, “If you’re not a liberal at twenty you have no heart, if you’re not a conservative at forty you have no brain”. Now, most would deduce from this statement that what Churchill was implying, was that as you become older, your priorities change, and are more concerned by things like children, work, mortgages and pensions, rather than stopping nuclear war, ergo becoming more insular and worrying more about yourself and your immediate family. Not trying to change the world. But I disagree. I think that the older you become, the more you hear about things that make you question if liberalism can even work, and not a façade for scrupulous people to get themselves ahead in the name of ‘solidarity’. See, when you’re 18, there are clear distinctions between good and bad. Left wing, Trade Unions, Communism = good. Right Wing, Bankers, Capitalism = bad. But as you grow, you realise that the distinctions are nowhere near as defined, and there are an abundance of complete charlatans that promote the ideals you held dear, just for their own gains. Which leaves you in a position to simply say, “fuck it, I’ll just get a job in insurance and hope that alcohol and casual sex can numb the pain caused by ‘morals’”.

The latest wassock to appear on the horizon is man of the people, Bob “145k” Crow. Head of the RMT Union, Bob has been ever present in the news in recent years, mainly due to his ability to make a complete tit of himself without cessation. On paper, Bob would seem to be someone who would be the darling of the left. From a very modest background, he describes himself as a ‘communist stroke socialist‘, is a former member of the Communist Party of Britain, has a dog named Castro and his office is littered with Communist iconography (such as a bust of Lenin). Whatsmore, he comes across brilliantly in Guardian biographical pieces, with them talking at length about him increasing pension allowance and increasing RMT membership during Crow’s term in office.

However, as with most people that profess to be the doyennes of something, they often, well, aren’t. Bob earns 145k a year in his role with the RMT. Yet despite this ludicrous wage, he lives in a 3-bed council house due to a legal technicality. Furthermore, in this photo:

Bob was snapped taking a break from strike action to have a £650 lunch in London’s Mayfair area. Not crimes, but certainly not the actions of a former card carrying member of the communist party, and certainly not someone who claims to ‘have more in common with a Chinese labourer than an EU poltician’. In addition to this, Bob has been blamed for intense public backlashes against Unions, due to some 14 strikes launched since his took the position, with the average Tube shutdown costing £50m a day.

But for Bob, his biggest problems come when he opens his mouth. Crow faced a falling out with left-wing allies when he sided with such illumines as The Daily Express and UKIP, when calling for a British withdrawal from the EU..

“RMT isn’t messing about. We support British withdrawal from the bosses’ and bankers’ Europe that has unleashed misery for millions from Athens to Madrid and on to the production lines of Bombardier in Derby. This isn’t a debate that should be dominated by the political and ­chattering classes. We want ­working-class voices to be heard.”

But Bob’s finest hour was perhaps his outstanding idea for solving the deficit, which was to introduce a tax on Emails.

The General Secretary of the militant Rail, Maritime and Transport union was booed as he outlined his idea for a 1p tax on each email during an appearance on a late night comedy show.

He said that rather than cutting public services, the Government should tax email traffic and scrap the replacement for the Trident nuclear defence system.

This, however, wasn’t the first time that comrade Crow had aimed his cross-hairs of justice on modern technology. In 2010 he called for a 1p tax on text messages, professing that it would ‘nearly wipe out half the deficit’. However:

It was pointed out that with 96.8 billion text messages sent last year in the United Kingdom, such a tax would raise only £968 million – a drop in the ocean of the £150 billion budget deficit.

So his calculations were *slightly* incorrect.

The big issue people have with Bob has is the militancy of his actions, as well his questionable personal circumstances and behaviour. This week Bob was back in the news. This time for securing a payrise for London tube drivers.

Tube drivers in the capital will see their pay go over the £50,000 a year mark under a four-year wage deal negotiated between London Underground and union leaders, it emerged today.

Under the deal, staff will get a 5% pay increase this year followed by RPI inflation plus 0.5% in the subsequent three years.

Industry sources said that if RPI inflation stays reasonably high, some Tube staff will receive a pay rise approaching 20% by the end of the settlement period.

The pay of Tube drivers, currently around £46,000, will go over £50,000, while some staff could receive a £10,000 pay rise over the four years, it was estimated.

General secretary Bob crow said: “We saw major movement from LU and we now take this improved offer back to our local reps.”

Now I’m no fan of bankers, and their astronomical wages were rightly derided by the general population. But how can these same people not be totally appalled by this similar level of corpulent greed, in this time of austerity? Despite all Crow’s pontificating about caring of his fellow worker, in truth all he really seems to care about is himself and his small circle of cronies. 50k puts tube drivers in the top 10% of earns in the country, and 20k higher than the average London wage.

Crow and the RMT are essentially an organisation that gives trade unions a bad name. They gain obscene wages in what is a simplistic job (the DLR line is totally ‘robot’ driven), using threats of blackmail to hold the country to ransom. 3 million people use the tube every-day, so it’s not as if passengers can just jump onto a bus instead. Normally I wouldn’t care, but the Underground is partly funded by taxation, so in a sense they are screwing over their fellow man to get themselves a hefty pay-check. At least bankers who wave money in windows of Desuche Bank admit they’re complete arses, the RMT seem to think they are a modern day Bolshevik party. If they feel they deserve these wages, then why don’t nurses, fireman and police get this as well? As these people have a far tougher job than moving a train across a fixed line. The starting salary of a pilot is 19k, which I will wager is far tougher than driving an underground train.

£145,000 a year can buy a lot, but it can't buy taste in fashion.

The London Underground represents a lot of the stereotypes people have with public sector organisations. It has an implemented ‘boys club’ attitude, with internal recruitment and restrictions in place making sacking someone nigh-on impossible. The constant threats of blackmail and striking make the RMT resemble a racket. Unions and strikes are important tools of the state sector, and essential to giving workers a voice. Teachers striking over Government reneging on pre-agreed pension payments is entirely correct. Striking because you don’t believe that 46k is a high enough wage for you abhorrent.

Crow’s militancy resembles Unions back in the 70s, which saw Thatcher sweep to power and crush them. Unions are important and vital to giving a voice to the voiceless, but abusing them for your own personal gain is inexcusable. In that sense, Crow’s behaviour distinctly resembles that of bankers; a small circle of people that protect themselves at the expense of those around them, who are partly funded by the Government. The money isn’t available to pay all public sector employees £50k a year, and all this will do is draw money away from places and people that need it more.

Now feeding back into what I said at the start, this would surely be further proof that anyone in power is corrupt and self-involved. But as I’m still young and naïve, I’m not going down this route. Instead, it’s my belief that Crow is a plant for far-right elements in the Conservative party, in an attempt to crush the unions again. Think about it; here you have a man that continually pisses off the population, earns an astronomical wage, disrupts lives and pontificates about communism, but is spotted in swanky eateries and has secured a deal that insures that those who give Londoners a lift to work are earning far more than most of them. The more and more he annoys the population and abuses his position, the more the general population will turn against Unions. Then a Conservative MP will suggest a referendum on a ban of Union and Union memberships, which a frustrated population will vote for. Then what happens is the teachers, policeman, fireman and nurses will see their pensions evaporate, whilst Crow can disappear, spending his days milling around the bistros of west London. I mean, the theory is a load of bollocks, clearly, but it helps me sleep at night……

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