The Bachelor 2011: Episode 4 by Hannah

It is evident that if Gavin spends any longer on the French Riviera, Ronseal will be bringing out a new shade in his honour. I suspect, however, that he’s quite enjoying his current position as the only male in the herd, all the ladies flocking around him, gazing adoring at him, and putting on more and more lip gloss.

We’re right back into the thick of the action, with ‘Gav mail’ for Kesha and Carrie. As before, there will be one rose available, and the other girl will go home. The winner gets to spend an evening alone with Gavin. OH NO, but what if Gavin sends Carrie home? RECAP: Carrie is already in love with Gavin, and she often says things like, ‘My head keeps kicking in, but my heart shouts a lot louder.’

Gavin loves the outdoors, and is making them camp in the mountains. Well, only one girl will be camping out, Gavin will make his decision in the evening, and the loser will go straight home. Gavin wears a vest throughout, to show the ladies his guns, as he spends time with them ON THEIR OWN. Kesha is only 22, and clearly much too young for Gavin, who is a father. Gavin is rightly concerned. Now for Carrie…….HER HEART IS ON THE LINE.

‘After speaking to Carrie I am in a world of pain,’ Gavin says. I’m not sure if that’s good or bad, but I know how he feels. Oh, IT’S BAD! He gives the rose to Kesha, and Carrie is going home. Gavin is upset about it, because he’s made Carrie cry. ‘I always falls for the wrong bloke’, she wails. Nice one Gavin. Kesha and Gavin now get to spend the night together, and Gavin didn’t feel right, in the middle of nowhere, leaving the girl on her own in a tent. KISSING SOUNDS. Gross.

The next day, when Kesha returns with tales of her night with Gavin, Morgan and Carrie call her a slut behind her back. I christen them the glamour model witches. No good will come of them.

The next date is another attempt of Gavin’s to make the girls confident about their bodies is for them to take part in a life drawing class, the twist being that they have to draw each other. Carrianne, not impressed with Georgie’s attempts to draw her, deliberately reciprocates by giving Georgie giant thighs. The winner of the competition gets to draw Gavin, draped in a towel. Yawn.

The winner is Ola, and they talk about Gavin’s raunchy past (between the years of 18 and 22 he was something of a player), and all the kissing he’s been doing with the various girls. ‘I think it’s something that I have to do,’ he says serious tones. Ola’s drawing is worthy of Picasso, but I don’t think Gavin gets it.

More bitchiness from the glamour model witches now. Leila has been selected to spend a day in St Tropez with Gavin, and Carianne is jealous. She makes the usual horrible ‘is that what you’re wearing?’ comment, under-mining nice Leila’s confidence. Gavin turns up, spruced up in a jacket, before things can degenerate further, and he and Leila have a nice day together on a yacht. Back at the house, the glamour model witches do some more bitching as they arrange their arrange their breasts in preparation for the Rose Ceremony. It seems to come as naturally to them as breathing. Their fears are founded, as Gavin gives Leila the rose, and even picks out a dress for her to wear to the pre-rose cocktail party.

‘It’s so hard, dating all these girls. It’s so hard,’ muses Gavin, making his thinking face as he attempts to decide on who to send home. IT’S TIME……Ola is sent home. Apparently Gavin was not impressed by her misshapen drawing of him in the date. Ola doesn’t seem to care, and the rest of the girls get go to Italy next week for even more romance and tanning.

Comments

1. kfh says:

   October 29, 2011 at 12:48 am

   being gutted at the end of this compelling series, i’ve been lucky enough to have found your website, through which to relive the experience – cracking. don’t you dare suggest i need to get a life, you can keep that one under your breath.

   however, have to point out that you refer in para 5 of your review of episode 4 to a comment from “Morgan and Carrie” – and i’m pretty sure you meant Carrianne; i know my glamour model witches (even if Gavin doesn’t).

   thanks Hannah, v entertaining
   kfh

Leave a Reply