Punternet: Customer Service by shoutingatco.ws
On our whistlestop tour of the world of prostitute reviews, we’ve stopped by for a look at the lovely ladies, and where they live. Our third and final part is a look at the defining part of any transaction, the customer service on offer.
More interested in drinking the Lambrusco and Fanta she brought with her.
Off with the hood and some heavy o without, too heavy as she caught my head with a tooth and drew blood. Basically finished with a hand jon cos of the blood, and painful it was
I came pretty quickly, partly natural nerves and partly because I am a busy man.
She lubed up, sat on top of me and grabbed my dick so hard I lost any sensation from it. She put it in her arse (I think – couldn’t feel anything), screamed with pain squeezed my nipples hard and then took it out after 10 secs. Anyway, she wiped off the crap with a tissue then put it in her pussy still on top.
At this point I was told that she couldn’t give me hand relief because ‘your dick’s too small’ to which I rather jovially responded ‘you’re too business like and therefore I don’t have an erection’.
She produced a condom. I put it on myself whilst she lay back on the bed like a motionless sack of potatoes.
I traveled especially to the UK for no other reason than meeting this escort. On the day of the appointment I had arranged an expensive 5-star topclass hotel, a bottle of Bollinger champagne, and flowers.
She then looked at me and asked if I wanted oral and sex, or just oral, when I replaied ‘Oral and sex.’ She actually looked like she was going to vomit.
At the end of the punt she was checking the condom over which was a bit strange as it was clear it never split or anything I knew this as I removed it myself and she said she was low on baby wipes so gave me a few tisues, she then seamed to keep hold of the full condom and said there was no bin
And the shagging? It was like having sex with a big, wet, dead haddock. A haddock who didn’t like sex even when it was alive and swimming around the North Sea.
So I took the hint and said, “Actually, I think I’ll go” to which she replied “Up to you!” I had been there 25 minutes at that point. “No chance of a refund then?” – “you pay 1 hour you stay if you want stay” – “No forget it I’ll have a wank in the pub toilet round the corner, at least I wont have to listen to Celine Dion at full blast next to a sulky EE bitch”
With time running out, I asked to be finished by hand which is something she managed to do reasonably well though I had to watch the porn on the telly to sustain my interest. As I was dressing, she remarked “You must like porn” to which I responded “I don’t normally.”
On her hands & knees for good ol doggie moved to get better penetration & she farted
This girl has gone seriously downhill. She arrived high on crack or whatever shit she takes and proceeded to give an interesting show. More bizarre than sexy. shoved stained knickers in cunt then dragged them out, bannana up arse then peeled with mouth and offered to me ( didn’t touch it ) fisted herself till she bled slightly and attempted that thai trick with a beer bottle. The girl is meant to hold the liquid inside then squirt into the bottle. she just drenched the bed and smashed the bottle when it fell from her pussy ( next time do this before fisting? ) then she ran out of steam and spent the rest of the time teling me she had three kids and was dying of cancer.
I began to fumble with her bra strap, whereupon she rolled away from me, falling off the bed and hitting the floor with a fearful thump.
I was concerned that she might have hurt herself, but she quickly got up and, surprise, surprise, dashed into the bathroom once more. When she returned about ten minutes later, she was fully dressed and gave me a cock-and-bull story about having received a phone call from her brother to tell her that her mother had discovered what she was doing and that she had to return home immediately.
When LM undid my bra strap I did not roll away from him, I was turning over to help him, but this was a single bed and he is a big guy and so I fell off! Had it been a double bed this would not have happened. Rather than show ‘concern’ as he states, he angrily accused me of being drunk. I fled to the bathroom knowing this wasn’t going to work and had to end now, but was still unsure how to do it so I returned from the bathroom and made up something which we both knew was a complete lie, but what did he want me to say? It took a lot to get that much out.
In Joanne’s case, my licking did nothing for her. Don’t know why this is (she may have become “desensitised” b’cos she’s a pornstar)
Poor BJ with lots of teeth began proceedings and this was actually quite uncomfortable so asked her to stop. Then used my hand to get myself hard and put on a condom and fucked her inb missionary. Now this is where things got really uncomfortable as she passed out as I was doing this, and looked fast asleep. I stopped straight away and woke her up and then she started shouting at me in Thai. She went to the bathroom and took a glass pipe and was smoking something out of it. I asked her what she was doing and she told me to wait a minute.
When she get on to ride me, I noticed some percular cloth in her virgina or bum, and she kept using her hands to cover the area. Switch her to missionary , and noticed her bum hole is stuffed with bandage cloth.
I suspect she have make been injured by the previous punter in an A-Level session.
best thing was she gave an excellent massage.must be something orientals learn at school for future use at massage parlours.
And to wrap things up, this frankly horrific review from someone who is – hopefully making it up – or otherwise, just doesn’t get how crazily disgusting the situation is.
Latvian girl. Billed as 18 but really early 20s. Figure OK but obvious fake boobs.
pretty poor, does not do the services advertised or promised on the phone. “I don’t like this, I do’nt really do it”.
She then told me that she sees over 8 clients a day, 7 days a week. She hates men “They abuse me”.
Part One can be found here, and Part 2 (The Lovely Ladies) can be found here.
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Lambrusco AND fanta? That sounds like a drink that is better than sex.
“then she ran out of steam and spent the rest of the time teling me she had three kids and was dying of cancer. ”
And this is entertaining for you is it?
No, it’s bloody tragic. His casual attitude towards it is the most shocking part…