The restraining order says no but your silhouette says yes by Smack

Sometimes us ordinary schmucks just have to muddle along with the terrible cards that life deals us – eating generic brand choco snaps instead of Kellogg’s Coco Pops, paying £8.30 (!) to go and see the 100th awful The Fast and The Furious at the local Cineworld instead of swanning about in Cannes and, worst of all, masturbating over photographs of famous people instead of masturbating over actual famous people.

It’s rubbish but most of us seem to get along okay without having a breakdown or getting official documents served to us stating there must be a certain amount of distance between us and a celebrity. Fascists. Anyway, the same couldn’t be said for a Mr Patenema Ouedraogo who was accused of stalking Serena Williams, and was arrested outside of her home in Florida a couple of weeks ago.

According to the affidavit, the police found a letter on Ouedraogo’s belongings when they searched him which stated that he was in love with Serena and felt they were soulmates and that she was in love with him too.

Ouedraogo has now been charged with stalking and cyber-stalking and his bond has been set at $25,000. If he makes bail he will be placed under house arrest.

Serena had taken out a temporary restraining order against Ouedraogo but because he could not be found it was never served.

The accused man said he knew where Serena was all of the time because of her Twitter updates.

Sounds simple enough. Young attractive talented sportswoman attracts attentions of a nutter. Why? Because nutters are mental and unbalanced. Unless you happen to post a photo of yourself on Twitter of course.

Serena Williams posted a photograph of herself on Twitter, in which you can see a side profile of her though a veil curtain  wearing underwear and high heels. You don’t see any of her special areas, it’s not erotic and it’s no more provocative than grunting on a tennis court during a match. However Williams removed her photograph after it resulted in bizarre and outrageous accusations from “online sporting websites”.

‘It’s a sexy photo, she looks great and it’s not pornographic. To be honest, I would actually find it to be somewhat artistic if it weren’t for the serious business of stalking women,’  Greg Couch of The Sporting News wrote.

‘What was her message anyway? What was she trying to say? Just this: Look at me. Instead, what she was saying was this: Peep at me, but don’t stalk me. Huh?

‘Someone must have gotten to her and suggested something about common sense and hypocrisy.’

Yeah, what a hypocrite, posting a photo of herself online and then having a stalker arrested. In a world where celebrities are constantly having photos of themselves that they can’t control being plastered everywhere, Twitter allows them to post exactly what they want their fans to see and read. It’s horrifying to once again read the dangerous accusation that attractive women drive men to commit crimes because of their alluring sexiness that leaves men unable to control their Neanderthal urges.

That to post such a picture obviously screams out “this is all I’ll give you, but see what I’ll do when you make me”. Williams has been a victim of a serious crime, a crime which is one of many that the Internet has furthered.

So she must hide from the Internet, and in the same vein, from the public eye? Would that stop insane people from being all insane and stalky? No. And I think the message everyone sends when they share a photo of themselves is “peep at me but don’t stalk me.”

It’s normal to want to let people see photos of you without wanting them to send you their pubes in the mail or break into your home and wait for you in your bed, right? It’s a bit like when you hang out with someone, your “message” is, “spend some time in my company, but don’t murder me please”.

This article may seem like it’s saying “read me and sleep with me” but actually, its message is a humbler ”read me, don’t print me out and wipe your bum with me. Please?” tease.

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