The Insane World of Janet Street Porter [Part 2] by shoutingatco.ws

Psst! Part 1 is here!

Heading back to one of the Mail’s favourite topics, JSP is inexplicably happy with her dress size:

No, I’m not stick insect and I’m size 16 and proud if it.

(We are well aware of the infantile spelling and grammar there. That’s how she wrote it.)

(We are also aware that nobody thin should be happy with their size.)

Real women have legs that are thicker at the top. We have bums that actually stick out. And we have busts, not two bee-stings on the front of our chests, nestling on top of a set of ribs. I must have ribs and a waist somewhere, but I haven’t seen them for 30 years!

The expression “real women” is particularly irritating. Is a thin woman not a real woman? Is bullying someone for her weight not entirely the fucking thing that you’re complaining about? But it’s okay when it’s done to a group that’s not normally picked on? For all the time the Mail spends bleating on about women’s tits – take a look in their sidebar for the latest bikini, low-cut-dress, music video based tits -, it’s eye-rollingly depressing (a made up illness) that anyone – shudder – different is fair game to be abused.

As one of the comments (voted down nearly 150 times) says:

The fact is, size 16 is unhealthy: overweight and in the shorter women it’s likley to be obese. 1 in 4 are overweight and don’t know it (for example, at my “largest” I as a 5 foot 3 woman weight 10 stone 5 lbs putting my BMI to be 25 (overweight). People still thought I was Skinny! I was not. I am now a size 8, and constantly find myself outsized by the fashion industry. I dont know if it’s just that I shop in completley different shops to you, but I can NEVER find clothes in my size. Its all size 14 upwards. Sorry, so called “sticks” or “skinny” people are not unhealthily skinny, we are the size we were designed to be as humans! By the author of the articles own admission she needs “flab controlling” pants, how about a diet and excersize? People need to face facts, we are a nation of fatties (and if you dont believe me look in the street).

She’s not put off thought, and continues the ranting in another article, entitled:

Stick-thin Lily Cole? No, Vanessa Feltz is the real model we want to see

Despite the irritation of her presuming to speak for everyone, I can categorically say that this is not “Vanessa Feltz flaunting her curves”:

Feltz: Curvy.

It is, of course, okay to bang on at Lily Cole though, saying:

Lily Cole, who looks like a boiled egg on a stick, is everywhere telling us how wonderful Heath Ledger was … Lily Cole is highly intelligent, but let’s be honest, she’s not exactly normal-looking. She looks a bit like a Thunderbirds puppet, huge eyes, a big head and a tiny body.

That’s okay to say, but God forbid you mention that Vanessa Feltz is unhealthily overweight. Lily is a model. She’s a model because she’s striking-looking and thin. Two things she was presumably born with. But that’s okay. Tee-hee, look at her funny head.

Feel free to have a go at her for not looking normal, though. It’s incredibly tempting to point out that JSP’s teeth enter a room three days before the rest of her, but we’re above that. Almost.

This harrowing journey concludes next week with Part 3, which you can read here.

Comments

1. alan says:

   April 13, 2011 at 6:38 pm

   I walked into the living room the other day and found my wife reading JSP’s spewed up bile on the Mail’s website.
   I actually found myself speechless, unable to verbalise my disgust. I have referred my wife to this blog, though it may be tougher than just opening her eyes to this stench made visible.
   She said she started reading this oversized toilet roll just so she could laugh at the commenters and wonder whether the Mail has isolated the more talented of those infinite monkeys and typewriters.
   Recently though, she said something about wanting to make a comment herself. I have a horrible feeling she has Ben sucked onto the vortex of hatred, spite, bollocks, pettiness, amorality and bigotry which seems to be the hallmark of this silage tank of a newspaper.

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