Half-a-story Star talk Soaps by shoutingatco.ws

Let’s count all the ways in which this Daily Star article is terrible.

1. It’s 58 words long, and still took the combined efforts of two people to chunder out.
2. They don’t bother to mention which show the girl will be appearing on. It’s Hollyoaks, in case you wanted to avoid it.
3. The screenshot contains the phrase “Alex is a wannabe WAG” three separate times
4. Her relationship with everyone’s favourite bell-end Ashley Cole is somehow supposed to be relevant AND interesting.
5. It’s a news story about a plot on Hollyoaks. Hungover Sunday morning, student-amusing, pseudo-masturbatory soap Hollyoaks.
6. What the hell is “Soaper Star”? Is it REALLY a play on “Super Star”? REALLY? REALLY? Oh dear.

Such is the paucity of the Star’s coverage of soaps – or, more likely because there’s a picture of a blonde girl next to the title – this article has been Most Popular for over a week.

UPDATE:

Star hack Nigel Pauley has been in touch over Twitter with a staunch and intelligent response:

“Ashley girl to score HOT TV – TELLY NEWS HOLLYOAKS” <<< This was paper's version Ur mocking the web version. Get it right.

So sorry about that. We were wrong. I think. Wait, no we weren’t.

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