Mail: Clarkson has Affair, Let’s Spoil his Holiday! by shoutingatco.ws

You can’t get away from Jeremy Clarkson and his hilarious brand of light-hearted racism and hate. The middle-aged environment-botherer might wish it was 1953, but despite this, he remains one of the Daily Mail’s favourite targets. “License payer’s money!” they scream, every time he contrives a race across Europe, or throws a caravan at Wales.

This week, he went on holiday (spending license payer’s money), amid claims that he had an affair.

Where did these claims come from? Er, we don’t know. The Mail’s first article about the affair (don’t worry – there’s loads of the bloody things) is a little light on detail. It’s full of carefully qualified “it was claimed,” and “were alleged to have”, taken from an article in the Daily Mirror. An article that doesn’t quote a single source. But it’s in a newspaper! It must be true!

So a man might have had an affair. Equally, y’know, he might not.

And that’s the entire story. Someone reckons Clarkson shagged another woman. She denies it (“nonsense”) and he said: “I hear the Press think I’m Tiger Woods – don’t worry, I’m not!”

Since he’s had the sheer fucking nerve to go on holiday with his wife while these allegations are mindlessly repeated, it’s fair game to repeat the story with every set of holiday snaps that the Mail have gleefully bought up.

Does that stop arsewits like Natalie Clarke and Christian Gysin from speculating? Course not.

The atmosphere between the couple can only be extraordinarily tense, but they are having to keep up some pretence of normality for the sake of their three children.

I mean… that’s just… that’s not journalism, that’s just nothing. They’re acting “normal”, so they’re pretending for the sake of the kids.

But what’s this headline chundering out?

Do stand so close to me Jeremy… Frances Clarkson keeps Top Gear presenter at finger-tip length

Complete with a picture, so you can see just how shit a time they’re having on holiday

Except that, er, it appears to just be two people wandering along on a beach. If they’d been stood right next to each other, would the ubiquitous (and slightly sinister) Daily Mail Reporter have guessed that… oh, wait.

They are next to each other. So the non-story continues: ARE THEY HAPPY? ARE THEY? REALLY?

The Mail has decided the affair is true, and is using it as the horrendous backdrop for a series of articles designed to ruin the holiday of a bloke off the telly, and his family.

We’re not saying that Clarkson hasn’t had an affair, just that the Mail have shown no interest in actual real journalism, and showing us some proof. Rather, they’ve been paying for papped photos of a chap on the beach, his wife, and throwing some spurious shit around over and over again. There’s half a dozen articles about this now, with masses of recycled copy and photos, plus the usual whinging editorials.

We’re supposed to just ignore the lack of facts, and eventually we’ll forget what shitty foundations the story is built on. Then we can just vicariously enjoy a telly-gobshite have his family life destroyed. All hail the press!

Comments

1. inksmithy says:

   April 11, 2011 at 1:09 pm

   That alleged newspaper is a rich source of rantworthy targets isn’t it? Sometimes I think they publish this shit just so people can throw their newspaper on the table in disgust and drive to work muttering about the absolute bollocks and drivel this publication releases into the wild. They are a disgrace.
2. Nick Bryans says:

   April 11, 2011 at 2:27 pm

   Clarkson vs The Mail; is it possible for 2 people to lose a fight?
3. Will Millinship says:

   April 11, 2011 at 4:21 pm

   Facts are no longer needed by newspapers – why should they be? In these days of instant information via twenty-four hour news stations and the internet, if it’s facts you’re wanting (or, at the very least, something plausible masquerading as a fact), you’d go there. Papers, by contrast, seem to be making their money on opinion, comment, and scurrilous conjecture more and more.
   Papers like the Mail, the Sun, and sadly the Guardian are making their money by pandering to the prejudices of their readers more than ever before.

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