It must be a real ballache for reporters to write 90% of an article, ask for a nice official quote to tie it all together, and find out that there’s 100% denial across the board. What do you do? You could drag the file to the recycle bin and go find an immigrant family to bother. Or, you could do what Glen Owen in the Mail has done, and run the story anyway.

Take this headline:

The seven months pregnant woman told to give up her British Airways seat… just so Gordon Brown could fly Club Class

Does it even sound true? Does it? Really? Like, someone ordered her to sit in the (oh so terrible) economy class, while ol’ Gordy wandered on with a smile and a wave. Well, a wave.

Of course not.

Gordon Brown sparked a mutiny on a British Airways flight after he was blamed for an attempt to downgrade a heavily pregnant woman and Red Cross doctor into more cramped seats.

A mutiny! On a flight! This sounds like the most exciting story ever! People going all tribal and running around with the plane on fire, chanting slogans and flicking the Vs at Brown.

The extraordinary scenes – dubbed Mutiny On The Brown-ty

They weren’t dubbed that at all, by the way.

During the first, hour-long leg from Oman to Abu Dhabi, the displaced passengers stared resentfully at the six empty seats in business class, known as Club World by BA.

At Abu Dhabi they were livid to see Mr Brown board the plane with his team and take up the £3,000-a-head places.

The passengers immediately concluded that they had been ‘bumped’ to make way for Mr Brown.

Okay, evidence that Brown kicked a pregnant woman out of her seat:

1. The passengers think it happened

This is no deterrent for the Mail, though, painting the whole thing as a conspiracy:

BA and Mr Brown’s office yes­terday joined forces to try to limit the embarrassment.

Says BA:

‘It is very rare for a customer not to be able to travel in the cabin that they have booked and we are extremely sorry that this happened on this flight. Gordon Brown and his party were booked in advance and were not involved in any way.’

Says Mr. Brown’s office:

‘As BA has made clear, the arrangements were nothing to do with Mr Brown, who had booked his flight and seats well in advance and made no requests for – nor received – any special treatment.

Fairly unequivocal, no?

But that’s not good enough for the Mail, who are running with the story anyway. See, it turns out that you can print the claims of anyone at all, regardless of how grounded in reality their claims are, and – to be on the safe side – print a denial at the bottom.

God knows how far they’re willing to take something like that. It’d be funny to see David Cameron denying being a witch, or Rachel Riley releasing a statement saying that she hadn’t kicked a 10 year old.

The whole story is an exercise in trying to froth up a rage over nothing, by using an easy target. Which is, of course, a Mail trademark.

The absolute highlight, though, is the Mail’s editorial column, which says with a straight face:

We have pretty much put an end to privilege. The good things in life are obtained through hard work and effort, not through rank and status.

Before self-righteously harrumphing:

And why should an airline, which sells specified seats on specified flights to specified people, think it justified or reasonable to tell paying passengers that their contracts have been voided without notice? No doubt British Airways has the legal right to behave in this way.

And continuing with the completely illogical and irrelevant:

In a contest for a comfortable seat, between a woman a few weeks from giving birth and a man whose undistinguished period in office is already being happily forgotten, most people would know instantly which side to take.

So why all the rage at Brown? It’s clearly not the case that there were only a couple of seats in Business Club Upgrade Stretch Your Legs Class, and that BA kicked the pregnant lady out to directly replace her with Brown. There were other people on that flight, who could have given up their seat and taken a voluntary downgrade.

Travelwatchdog.com says:

If you are ‘bumped’ against your wishes, or have your flight cancelled without at least 14 days notice, you are entitled to compensation in accordance with the regulations outlined below. In addition, passengers who decide that they do not wish to continue with their journey are entitled to a full refund and a free flight to return them to their airport of origin.

The law (boo, hiss Europe etc) says:

Article 10

Upgrading and downgrading

1. If an operating air carrier places a passenger in a class higher than that for which the ticket was purchased, it may not request any supplementary payment.

2. If an operating air carrier places a passenger in a class lower than that for which the ticket was purchased, it shall within seven days, by the means provided for in Article 7(3), reimburse

(a) 30 % of the price of the ticket for all flights of 1500 kilometres or less, or

(b) 50 % of the price of the ticket for all intra-Community flights of more than 1500 kilometres, except flights between the European territory of the Member States and the French overseas departments, and for all other flights between 1500 and 3500 kilometres, or

(c) 75 % of the price of the ticket for all flights not falling under (a) or (b), including flights between the European territory of the Member States and the French overseas departments.

She didn’t get screwed over by Gordon Brown, she got screwed over by BA’s overbooking policy, but there’s a law to ensure she’s compensated fairly. Fuck it, have a pop at Gordon instead. Tee hee, he’s all awkward and weird.

UPDATE: 03/04/11 – The Mail have apologised to Gordon Brown, because it turns out they were full of shit. Thanks to @pressreform on the Twitter for the article.

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