So after the recap from last week, we learn that this week’s “lesson” is about Trust. According to those in the know, relationships cannot survive without it. According to us in the know, at least one of The Tools is going to come unstuck…. hello Randy Tool Liam!

Psychologist Lady Dr Scott asks what The Tools and their Laydeez know about trust in relationships. Apparently they know it’s important. Well done. Stoner Tool Bobby admits he gets paranoid. Becky, Laydee of Poser Tool Pete, who last week admitted to going through his phone tries to defend random numbers in her phone, which he goes through.

The Tools are asked to leave and they don’t know why. They understandably get nervous then it all goes Jeremy Kyle on our asses – LIE DETECTORS! Except The Tools won’t be having real lie detectors but fake ones! And their Laydeez get to decide if The Tools are telling the truth or not! And what questions to ask! I doubt they can even understand what’s going on! Certainly Presenter Rick Edwards doesn’t and neither do I. Where’s Maury and his reassuring fatherly presence when you need him?

The following premise involving Lie buttons and Truth buttons is complicated but basically each Laydee has to press either button according to what she hears. Twinkle Tool Joe and Abby are up first. She believes everything he says. She doesn’t ask him if he’s gay which makes a change.

Lazy Tool Lee and Jade – the ones who maybe never had a spark but think they might have done once – are up next. She only bothers with two questions. Which she believes the answers to. Yawn…

Jealous Tool Danny is up next and he refuses to do the fake test. Because he doesn’t trust his Laydee and thinks he should be the one asking her the questions, thereby missing the premise of the show but perfectly embodying it.

Geezer Tool Harry, Massive Tool Dave, Stoner Tool Bobby and Drunk Tool Hus all get believed as well. Mainly because they are fairly obviously telling the truth. Well done them.

Maury Alert! Poser Tool Pete admits to having other children! Becky was not prepared to hear that. Neither it seems was anyone else, including Psychologist Lady Dr Scott.

Then it’s Randy Tool Liam’s turn. Remember him? He’s the one whose Laydee, Toni, thinks he worships the ground she walks on but who was busy fingering some slapper last week. Yeah. So he takes a leaf out of Temper Tool Jake’s book and “goes on a RAMPAGE” and threatens to walk out. Randy Tool Liam tries to maintain that he has nothing to hide. In his piece to camera. Where he’s talking to the people who filmed him doing said cheating deed and by extension to us, the people who viewed said cheating deed (though thankfully not the graphic detail….).

His mentor Temper Tool Jake is up next. He DEMANDS to know the questions first, yeah? Then he wants to see his GIRL, yeah? After threatening to smash the desk over the fake lie detector man’s face, he has to see his woman, yeah? He hasn’t seen her for THREE HOURS. Oh the huge manatee. When they’re all brought back together, Jake tells his woman to get her shit and that they’re going. Disturbingly, she just gets up and follows him. He claims to have learnt his lesson. I’m not sure what lesson that is though other than how to nearly beat up your girlfriend on national TV and still have her forgive you.

Jealous Tool Danny still wants to go until he finds out the test was fake. Then everyone else starts arguing. Apart from Randy Tool Liam and Toni. She totally believes him even though he refused to do the test. A nation wants to reach into their TV sets and collectively give Toni a good shake and tell her to run as fast as she can away from him.

Next is a coupley task – an OAP Grand Prix. Obviously. The Laydeez have been given… well, dresses that wouldn’t look dissimilar to those that I’d wear actually which apparently makes them look like grannies. Whatever, E4 producers…

But they also get a mobility scooter. YES! Who doesn’t want one of them?! The trust element comes in that the Laydeez are blindfolded and have to be directed by their Tools. And if the Laydeez get it wrong then The Tools get electrocuted. Not to death or anything, more like playing Operation. Shame…

You have to feel for Poser Tool Pete, though – Becky doesn’t know left from right, bless her. And she’s not doing it on purpose either. Geezer Tool Harry and his lovely Laydee Faye win and get to massage each other. Awww yeah. Except Geezer Tool Harry looks rather uncomfortable with the whole set up.

Then the judging. Presenter Rick Edwards and Psychologist Lady Dr Scott discuss the fake lie detector test. Apparently they like that Big Issues were exposed. Like Poser Tool Pete’s secret child. And how Randy Tool Liam completely dodged a bullet. And how Edwards REALLY want Geezer Tool Harry and Lovely Faye to split up so he can be the one to stroke her face.

Jealous Tool Danny, Poser Tool Pete and Twinkle Tool Joe are in the bottom three and we say goodbye to Twinkle Tool Joe who’s just not confident enough because his girlfriend keeps telling him she thinks he’s gay. But she still wants to leave with him. *sigh* But then she claims that it’s done nothing for them. For the love of all that is good Twinkle Tool Joe, please tell us you have dumped her.

Next week! BRIDEZILLAS! FAKE WEDDINGS! RANDY TOOL LIAM FINALLY GETTING HIS COMEUPPANCE! Okay, that last one might not happen but we can always hope.

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