I’m A Celebrity 2010: Episode 17 Recap by Bren

Disclaimer: it continues to rain in the jungle, webbed feet, fungus and Ant or Dec… it’s not pretty

Episode 17/Day 19

Here are today’s headlines:

Double eviction
Team challenge (everyone gets moist)
Kidding leads to subterfuge

As we begin the final sprint for the finish line, the producer realises he needs to be out of the jungle in time for the second Ashes test, so we get a double eviction night. Yay! Or maybe boo! I’m going to miss our gang. Shaun’s taciturn facade (yes, facade, because we all know that underneath his Mancterior he’s a warm and fluffy guy); Dom’s lightening wit; Stacey’s personality and figure; Kayla’s erm; Jenny’s weird combination of honest affability. Yep, I’m going to miss them all. Except Aggro, obv.

The first job of the day is that everyone must take part in Celebrity Cyclone, a bugless, creepyless game that’s devoid of all the usual nasty lifeforms. Except for Ant or Dec, who stand on the sidelines and chortle. The slebs endure high-pressure water hoses and have balls flying at their faces as they struggle up an obstacle course, to their marks, where they have to hold their position in the face of unrelenting water pressure. And Ant or Dec.

I wonder if Kayla, being a former Bunny Girl, has experienced balls flying at her face before? She did say it was crazy that there were so many balls. Still, given the producer’s pubescent sense of humour, penchant for dodgy camera angles and all the water washing about the place, we get to see much of Princess Stacey of Cameltoe’s flesh. And Princess Kayla of Whinge’s flesh. And a gratuitous shot of Jenny’s arse. It’s an excellent piece of entertainment, even though the challenge lacks the spontaneous humour of yesterday’s Walkie-Talkie comedy show. The team return to camp soaked, but victorious. Hear them roar!

I find myself examining their surroundings more than usual. There’s an air of ‘end of term’ about the camp. The place looks shabby and well-used, but it’s taken a lot of punishment from the elements.

After lunch there’s a double-handed challenge with a twist. Shaun and Stacey are called away to herd goats. Not heard goats. One of the goats looks quite comely; she has a certain glint in her eye. The challenge is simple. Each goat is wearing a bell. Stace and Shauno have to relate the tone of each bell to a number. The completed string of numbers from the herd of goats-bells will open a combination lock. Simples. Except Shaun turns out to be tone deaf. Who knew? Stacey, though, has an exceptional bum ear. They soon complete the job.

The subterfuge to the challenge is that while S&S are out molesting goats, Jenny and Dom are set a secretive challenge. They are to pretend that they’ve fallen out. And Kayla (who tells us she has never lied – thereby at least doubling the number of lies she has told) has to back their story up.

Dom and Jenny throw themselves in to the challenge. BAFTAs – if not Oscars – have been awarded for performances of less conviction. As Stacey and Shaun return, Dom and Jenny storm around the camp hurling black looks and sarcastic comments that are almost capable of slaying small children. ‘Stop behaving like a hormonal old woman and get out of bed’, snarls Dom. Jenny’s tears are credible – and I know she’s acting. Kayla’s ineffective sympathy from the sidelines adds a cementing touch of reality.

Stace and Shaun are embarrassed and upset in equal measures. Shaun softens his Salford tendencies and cuddles a weeping Jenny. Everyone leaves a snarling Dom alone.

When the deception is revealed, the expression of relief on Stacey’s face is priceless, underlining what a nice person she is. The challenge also highlights that Dom and Jenny are a devious, yet believable, pair of characters. The reward for completing this challenge is a selection of Cup-a-Soups and the two letters that we were led to believe were burnt last night.

Later, when talking about ‘home’ in a wistful way, Stacey tells us she misses the dreaming spires of Romford. ‘If I was to come to Romford for a whole day,’ asks Jenny. ‘If I arrived at 10am, what should be the first thing that I do?’ ‘Leave,’ said Dom. Funny guy. The most shocking revelation from this group conversation is that Shaun used to live in Hampstead, NW London. I don’t know why it shocks so much, it just does.

The breakup of the camp continues: Kayla is the first to be booted out and Dom follows soon after. Dom looks genuinely upset and so, in a way, am I. Stacey for the win!

You can follow ‘I’m A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here!’ on ITV but, let’s face it, you’d rather be reading about it here. And who can blame you.

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