Pudsey Brown by shoutingatco.ws

Tonight is the BBC’s stoic charity promote-a-thon, Children in Need. With the contrast between low-rent celebrities donating their time instead of money, and po-faced reports on the sort of kids that the tabloids want put down (in a vet sense, not in a stop-carrying-them sense), it’s a pretty easy target.

So we’ll save our rage for the one irritating presence that will hamper the evening. Not Wogan, or Cotton, but Pudsey.

It's a sailboat!

Look at his face. Just look at his face. He’s probably only got one eye, or his eye is a bit manky, or just plain weird. What exactly are Children in Need going to do for him? Never mind, of course, that he’s a bear and not a child, and doesn’t fall under their remit anyway.

His depth perception is going to be a bit squiffy, and he won’t be able to appreciate the latest in 3D movies. Actually, the BBC Strictly Come Dancing 3D preview is really good, so he’s definitely missing out there. But what can Children in Need do about that? Nothing, that’s what.

Essentially, Pudsey is the charity-logo version of Gordon Brown. One eyed, unloved and relentless at turning up uninvited. Is that what you want, Children in Need? Is it, really? A grinning idiot that takes money off children and families? Are we talking about Pudsey or Gordon Brown? You don’t know, we don’t know, and that’s our point.

Although it could be far worse: Comic Relief have Ben Elton.

Because we’re not totally heartless, you should probably donate – notice our Generic Current Singer approach there, by the way: You should probably donate. You should probably donate to Children in Need by clicking here and then giving them money.

Comments

1. Wardy says:

   November 19, 2010 at 1:36 pm

   Little story…
   Look at this fella http://www.tchc.org.uk//uploads/images/80grace.jpg
   That’s Theo – the mascot of Sheffield Children’s Hospital. A few years ago Children in Need wrote to the hospital threatening to sue as they had blatantly pinched Pudsey, changing him only slightly.
   The hospital then pointed out that Theo pre-dated Pudsey by a decade or so but wrote back saying “Don’t worry, we won’t threaten to sue. We don’t sue charities…or hospitals”
   BOOM.

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