Daily Mail is Outraged as Woman Smiles and Shops by Smack

You’d think she didn’t have a care in the world: Gamu Nhengu’s mother smiles as she relaxes on a shopping spree

The Daily Mail doesn’t like happy mothers of failed X Factor contestants. It HATES them. Just look at the woman who gave birth to Gamu!

Yesterday Gamu Nhengu’s mother Nokuthula Ngazana looked as though she hadn’t a care in the world as she indulged in a shopping spree.

Wearing a summery pink dress and flashing photographers a wide smile, Ms Ngazana showed no sign of any stress over fears that she and her family could be deported from the UK.

Ms Ngazana was seen carrying several shopping bags, including some from the Nike store, as she arrived home in a smart Rover 75 car.

Just Gamu It

Mother of Gamu has made 3 fatal errors here:

1. COLOURED CLOTHING. Jesus wept woman, you’re about to be kicked out of the country, wear a black mourning dress for fuck sake! Or if you can’t afford a new LBD at least get a nice traditional black armband, it speaks volumes whilst being tasteful and discreet.
2. SMILING. Why isn’t she weeping and wailing, banging her fists and clawing at the ground while an armed officer of the law drags her to the nearest high-security cell to await deportation? I’m not sure what people look like when they have lots of worldly cares. Maybe grim-faced, or contemplative, or dead behind the eyes. No smiling, like there’s a pap with a massive bloody camera right in front of your face, that’s for fucking sure! This country doesn’t want you, why are you grinning from ear to ear like the crazed shopping addict that you clearly are? Bringing us to point 3, perhaps the most important point of all:
3. SHOPPING. Why is she shopping when she should be on a plane back to whatever God-forsaken country she’s from? Actually shopping! For things that her and her family might want to peruse in some way, perhaps via eating or wearing, or whatever else they wish to do with items they have bought! And a “spree” no less! I would have thought a spree would constitute more than a Nike bag and a few unbranded grocery bags, but maybe not. Maybe what makes a “spree” is the vigour you put into the shopping, and clearly Gamu’s old ma has gone shopping mad! The Nike store? Hmm, pretty flashy. Why not Primark? Primark not good enough for you, eh? You like your sports gear branded and fancy? SO un-British, she’s clearly not one of us.

Well, that awful racist Cheryl Cole may not give a shit, but embracer of all humans Simon Cowell does!

While Cheryl maintains she stands behind her decision, fellow judge Simon Cowell has revealed he has thrown his weight behind the battle to help Gamu stay in the UK.

He said: ‘We are helping Gamu and her family as much as possible. We have lawyers working with her lawyers, not because we have to – but because I really feel for their situation, and that’s outside of the show.’

To be fair, if I had Simon “shits gold” Cowell backing me, I would probably look like I didn’t have a care in the world either. When you’ve got that guy behind you, nothing can stand in your way, not the law, genocide or jealous Nike-hating Mail journalists. And not even because he has to either, because why would he? Gamu wasn’t even in his group!

Just stick to the money next time, love.

Perhaps Gamu’s mum was looking cheery because some lovely nutter had left a loaf of manky bread and a Susan Boyle CD (not signed by Susan Boyle) on her doorstep. What everyone needs in a crisis!

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