Mad Wikipedia Sit-com Episode Summaries! by shoutingatco.ws
For some inexplicable reason, we watched a LOT of bad comedy in the 1990s. And for an even more inexplicable reason, the BBC and ITV kept on pumping it out, like a train of shit ideas heading from the demented Laurence Marks’ head, straight towards you. And you’re strapped to the line, unable to escape the nightmare.
One particular memory that haunts us was an episode of 2.4 Children, that we now realise was an homage to The Prisoner – a show we were too young to know about at the time. The whole thing was a clusterfuck of a mess, and actively annoyed us with just how stupid it was.
What we’ve particularly enjoyed recently is visiting Wikipedia’s episode lists for these shows, and checking out the synopses. These have apparently been written by someone half-remembering the episodes from years ago, or perhaps the mentally ill.
Here are some of our favourites:
2.4 Children
Ben’s feud with a rival heating repairman is brought to an end when the man supposedly dies; a Star Trek funeral is prepared. An inspector visits Bill’s house to see if her kitchen is fit for a catering business, and it seems a curse has descended on Bill.
Bill promises Jenny that she won’t do anything embarrassing when meeting her boyfriend’s parents, but some frozen cockroaches and an inflatable Pope intervene.
Keeping Up Appearances
Hyacinth has bought Richard a Father Christmas outfit for him to wear when distributing gifts to the old people at the Church Hall. Against his will, Richard puts on the outfit, but after having one too manysherries with Emmett, he is unable to fulfil the deed, hence Elizabeth puts on the outfit and pretends to be Richard.
Hyacinth and Richard spend time in their very small apartment in the countryside. Hyacinth invites Elizabeth and Emmett for Lunch an she somehow end sup on a runaway horse. Later on Emmett’s head gets stuck in the ceiling and Hyacinth has invited guests.
Goodnight Sweetheart
Gary has become over confident about his relationships with both Phoebe and Yvonne, and boasts to Ron about his prowess with women.
Both Yvonne and Phoebe are experiencing very bad morning sickness, and Gary’s sex life is non existent.
Gary is very unsettled after his French adventure, and he feels like he’s losing his mind: he can’t tell whether he’s awake or asleep, dreaming or experiencing reality. Then Rolf Harris appears in one of his dreams
The Brittas Empire
Goooood morning, Carol
The leisure centre is quiet until word gets out that Gordon Brittas is away in Bulgaria, whereupon it gets very busy. Helen arrives and informs the staff that Gordon is dead, however as the staff and Helen prepare for an easier life without Brittas, but the staff are all horrified when he walks through the leisure centre doors. Meanwhile, unaware her husband is alive, Helen prepares for her wedding. Carole faints in shock, and after a talk with Colin, believes Brittas wants her child to gain perpetual youth, a misunderstanding leading to Carole crushing Brittas’s car with a digger, with him inside it.
It’s life cycle week at Whitbury New Town Leisure Centre, and Sebastian Coe has come to help promote the event. Unfortunately, some confusion involving a troublesome child leads to Sebastian Coe being chained to a railing, and the centre being attacked by a Roman recreational society. Meanwhile, Carole’s son Ben escapes out of his cupboard.
Gordon visits Brussels in relation to a job he has been offered. Things are therefore expected to run smoothly at the leisure centre, but even all those many miles away Brittas still manages to cause a chain of problems, involving rats and explosions. Helen is in trouble after trying to kill a teacher.
After a large block of ice mysteriously crashes through the roof, a series of events leads to Colin believing that aliens have taken over the center. Meanwhile, Carole’s son Ben has a birthday party in his cupboard and Helen has accidentally sold her and Gordon’s house, and moves her homely goods into the centre.
As Time Goes By
While in a record shop, Lionel and Jean bump into Jean’s sister-in-law Penny. They then have tea at Jean’s house, and Jean tells Penny that she and Lionel have only known each other a few months. That weekend, Jean and Lionel stay with Penny and husband Stephen. When Penny starts talking about the years after Jean’s husband died, Jean tells them that Lionel is a psychiatrist to change the subject. Later when Penny calls their relationship “companionship”, Jean leads her to believe that she and Lionel sleep together, which then means they are given a double bed to share.
Jean and Lionel return from their honeymoon to discover that Judy has a new love interest, who is rather dull. Meanwhile, Sandy feels as though there are one too many women in the house.
The family goes to the Hampshire house to watch Lionel’s mini series being filmed. He is shocked by the directors choice of actors and their costumes. Jean considers retirement.
Birds of a Feather
Sharon is tired of the appalling behaviour in the cafe so Sharon decides to make it look different
Garth brings home a 17-year-old handsome school friend, Richard (Jamie Glover), for the holidays. Sharon and Tracey suspect Garth is gay, and Dorien tells them she thinks Richard is also gay. When Tracey tells Darryl, he goes mad when she admits she has not actually spoken to Garth about it yet. Soon after, she and Sharon speak to Garth who says he is not. Moments later Dorien says she was wrong about Richard being gay, as she has just slept with him.
Dorien and Marcus have been bickering lately but Sharon and Tracey find something weird going on in the night.
One Foot in the Grave
I am incredulous!!!!
The Meldrews return from their holiday to find that their baggage has been sent to the other side of the world. Their house has also been demolished following a terrible fire but somebody has still managed to aim free-sample packets of HP Spicy Sauce through the letterbox. 6 months later they move into a new house and try to hold a housewarming party.
Victor is unable to sleep, so Margaret cannot either. Victor gets desperate enough to open last year’s Christmas present from Ronnie and Mildred. This episode, set entirely in the Meldrews’ bedroom, implied that they had a son, Stuart, who died in childhood.
In the Meldrews’ solicitor’s waiting room, they observe the other visitors’ bizarre habits. Victor finally attacks a dog with a cake.
Recent Posts
The Internet
Comments
Leave a Reply
© 2012
Fuck me, you summed it up when you said ‘like a train of shit ideas‘ Some of these were borderline good. 2.4 Appearances started well and went downhill and Keeping Up Appearances and Birds of a Feather? When were they *ever* better than pulling the fillings out of your own teeth while strapped in to a chair and being forced to watch Anchorman backwards on a permanent loop?