The Great Human vs. Dog Fancy Dress Contest by shoutingatco.ws

Fancy dress is a horrible addition to any invitation. Armies of dickheads bowling into town in comedy cross-dressing and vague recreations of famous film characters. Plus sweat inducing gorilla costumes that seem like a shit idea after one bar and one under-arm scratching, shrieking impression.

Still, the idea persists that it’s fun to dress up, but we think that everything (except that) can be improved with the addition of a dog. Because anything that we can do, dogs can do better. They can lick their own balls, for God’s sake.

So, without further ado, here’s the best anthropomorphistic doggy fancy dress get-ups, and their human equivalents. It’s the best of seven – first to four wins!

Even though the dog is better positioned for, uh, doggy style, the whole thing is creepier than John Creepy being creepy at night, while wearing a creepy jacket. And wanking.

Humans 1-0 Dogs

Evil Lord, or bell end with a cape made out of an old bedsheet? C’mon, son, even Jar Jar Binks would laugh at that. And he was a poorly received character from the ill-advised prequels, which makes the insult even worse. But not as bad as that shit outfit, you scrawny tit.

Humans 1-1 Dogs

One of these is a heavy metal cave-legend, the other a borderline racist tit in a wig. Not even close.

Humans 1-2 Dogs

While we shouldn’t really applaud a shaved dog, we can’t help it. It’s brilliant. Far better than a grinning idiot in camp makeup. The dogs are running away with this like a dog with a string of sausages. One more to win it!

Humans 1-3 Dogs

Captain Jack Sparrow meets The Littlest Hobo playing Buckaroo. Fuck off, doggie.

Humans 2-3 Dogs

How do you like your humiliation, sir? Served by a busty yet terrifying lady, or by a dog in a fucking corset, with a whip? We doubt that the dog even has the capacity to detach the whip from the outfit, nor the intellect to fully appreciate the punishmental nature of the exchange.

The humans have pulled level!

Humans 3-3 Dogs

Fuck knows if that poll works, but we’re sticking with it. VOTE AWAY!

Comments

1. MarkSpizer says:

   May 2, 2010 at 12:07 pm

   great post as usual!

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