For some reason, actually for a specific reason, I spend a lot of time on trains. The reason being, of course, that things are far apart. The best bit about trains, apart from the crippling coldness and hilarious attitude to punctuality, is that it's a great opportunity to watch other people and check out what they're up to. Not in a creepy, stalkeresque way, although it's definitely going to come across that way. Here's just three people that I met (and by 'met', I mean 'stared at') on a journey into London and back. Exhibit 1, Cool Kid Cool Kid is Cool. We can see lots of evidence for that, notably the can of lager in his hand. ...

Coastal holidays in Britain are, let's face it, crap. The weather is rubbish here, and Scarborough and Blackpool are hardly Venice Beach, are they? A miserable week spent wandering round identikit towns ("Ooh, they have a Smiths and an Argos too!"), and trying to muster the enthusiasm to set a single foot on a dog-shit strewn shingled beach. The only saving grace is, ironically enough, the weather. The weather means you don't have to be outside avoiding chavs, when you can be inside and the glory of The Arcade. For some people, the arcade meant playing brand new games, using light guns to shoot at cartoon zombies or racing in barely realistic cars, sat next to the other drivers. That ...

I like shopping. I'm pretty good at it. I mean proper shopping, actually going to a shop with something in mind and buying it. It's exciting. Until the credit card statement arrives. The best shopping is supermarket shopping, cos it's like having loads of shops in one place. In the olden days, the supermarket only had one aisle of books, magazines and stuff. Now my local Tesco has an entire upstairs (upstairs!) with escalators designed for trolleys and everything. Upstairs is the magical, exciting bit with all HDTVs and big aisles full of videogames that I don't need, but I'll buy and they can sit on the shelf until I get sick of looking at them and trade them in for ...