50 things I can't do. There aren't 50. 1) Growing up Poo in a public toilet Grow a proper grown-up beard Resist drawing cocks on blank paper. Big spunking cocks with all balls and pubes Go to bed at a sensible time, even if I have to get up early Work the washing machine (why does it have more than one setting, really?) Understand the inner workings of a car Leave spots alone Dress up smartly Wake up on the first ...