In an announcement that will shock anyone who has seen my inept attempts at lovemaking, I must confess: I cannot dance. When I'm on the dancefloor, I look like someone who has been dragged out of their wheelchair and told to make their way home. It's embarrassingly un-coordinated and hilariously broken. Body parts move without any regard for each other, and inevitably into the face of an unsuspecting bydancer. Naturally, this makes me suspicious of anyone who can dance. What wizadry causes them to be able to move like that? And those serious expressions on their faces, like they're determined not to fart. Strictly Come Dancing is a ridiculous name saved only by the thought ...

As I wrote down there in that other post, I'm a bit not-right in the head, and feel sad for no reason. That's the best way to describe depression, I think. If your puppy dies or a robot from the future comes back to kill your 13 year old son to prevent him from participating in a resistance against the takeover of Earth by the robots, then you probably have the right to be a bit down. But I have no excuse. This week saw a 4 week check-up with the doctor. I take a pill every morning and that cheers me up. I call them happy pills. My dad isn't amused by it. The ...

In the pub the other night, the topic came up of sexual partners, and age differences between them. I announced that my biggest age gap was 18 years. One of my friends' girlfriends looked over and said "ooh, was she older than you, or younger?" I'm 25.

For almost everything that's ever born, the world is a shit place. Animals muller each other all over the place, fish eaten by bigger fish eaten by bigger fish. Turkeys wander round waiting for Bernard Matthews to wring their necks. Even if you're born human, you'll probably have a bit of a rubbish time of it. Be a woman in the wrong place, or black in the wrong place or just alive in the wrong place and you'll have a piss-poor time of trying to get anywhere. I have none of those things, but I still have depression. It's a weird thing: I have a roof over my head, I'm not even close to struggling for food, water ...