Much like a hooker will cover up her despair and sadness with a pair of fancy knickers, ears can be spruced up in a number of ways. Here’s your guide to things what you can do to your ears what can make them look all better, yo.
Plastic ears are much like plastic tits (in that they look almost as convincing), and you can put them back in a box, cupboard or bin when you’re finished. Make you look hilariously like something, but who knows what?
“Dad! Dad! Why have you got hair growing out of your ears?” Because you’re old, old man. You’re one step away from grunting when you stand up and wearing shirts when you don’t have to. Crucially, only two steps away from…
Proper old man ears. When you hit a certain age, your ears take on a life of their own and burst out like big flappy elephant cocks. Watch out for that door frame, granddad!
Disappointingly, some people aren’t happy with their ears and stick all manner of shite through them. Please don’t mutilate your ears, think of the cartilage. Unless you’re cool, and have a leather jacket and smoke, in which case go for it.
If you fancy this style of ear, you need a punch in the head. Literally!
Rabbits will forever be associated with two things. Mystifying ultra vibrators from Ann Summers and their ears. Which are all sparkly and worn exclusively by women in their 40s on hen nights trying to recapture their youth. Well worth killing a bunny to put the ears on a hoop.
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