Ears Day: Famous Ear Wearers by shoutingatco.ws

We’ve (almost) all got ears, but here’s some people who are famous for their ears. Famous in the sense that it’s the bit before their name in the tabloids. You know the bit. “Roly-poly funnyman Ricky Gervais”, “mustachioed Jew botherer Adolf Hitler” or “potato faced granny shagger Wayne Rooney”. Here’s people with ears.

Captain Spock, yesterday

Captain Spock, who famously captained the Death Star in Star Wars, is known for having ears that point upwards, like little ear erections. They’re made of vulcanised rubber and give him the power to turn into Sylar from Heroes in mediocre movie sequels.

Prince Charles looks miserable, and with good reason. Not content with swapping 80s honey Princess Diana in for Rod Hull, his whole job is sitting around waiting for his mum to die. He can’t even act pleased when she’s dead, even though it means he’ll have to sit and have a tiny sculptor make a copy of his face for the 5p coin. To aid him in his pursuit for the throne, he’s evolved big flappy ears, so he can detect the slightest thickening of the Queen’s arteries and ensure she’s as far away from an ambulance as possible.

Gary Lineker developed his oversized ears to aid in his footballing career, flapping them like wings to rise above the opposition and head the ball onto the goal. Now on Match of the Day, he carefully uses them to swat Mark Lawrenson out of the way when he gets ideas above his station.

Anna Friel has ears, and fucking lovely they are too.

Pob lives inside your TV, which means he is responsible for making it go all pixelly and blocky when it rains a bit. The ears are an attempt at helping him to adjust to the high definition era, in which every single one of his flaws is magnified in an attempt to appease you, the viewing public. You shits. You gave Pob an eating disorder and made him look a bit like Lily Allen holding her breath.

Comments

1. Mark says:

   July 22, 2009 at 10:40 am

   And dont forget Noddys mate ‘Big ears’ and Mickey Mouse
2. wardy says:

   July 22, 2009 at 10:47 am

   You forgot Dumbo the Elephant

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