Embarassing Teenage Bodies
Channel 4 medical gross-
a-rama, featuring kids with all manner of manky growths, holes, spots and scabs. Presented by Dr. Christian Jessen, a behemoth who looks like he’d bottle you in a bar just to demonstrate lacerations.
As a teenager, having a single medical trauma (and by trauma, I don’t mean losing an arm, I mean having a single visible pimply spot) would be cause enough to lock yourself in a room until everything calmed down. Perhaps not getting a camera crew round to have a look.
As in the case of one lass, who has a hormone problem which causes her to have extra hair. And has her mum help her out with a razor. All over her bum cheeks. Stood with her pants round her ankles, covered in shaving foam while her mother shaves her backside. How can your mother go back to work tomorrow? Same too with the bedwetters. You’re 18, sunshine, don’t go on the telly and talk about it. You’re not providing a service, except to the local chavs. Doesn’t you live in the real world and go to a real school? Have to interact with real people who watch the telly?
The Naked Office
Thankfully nothing to do with Ricky Gervais, this docu-camera-in-an-office thing follows a bunch of marketing dicks struggling through the recession. They call in a seedy chap who’s come straight from a 90s documentary on Men and Motors, who recommends Naked Friday to bring them closer together – presumabyl he’s tried this tactic over and over again in the hope it would finally pay off, and yay, it does.
When Naked Friday finally rolls around, weirdly the chaps that are most enthusiastic about it actually drive to work naked. I’m not sure why they do this, but the sight of a bare-chested middle manager with a cameraman next to him sat in a traffic jam can’t have gone unnoticed.
Clearly they all only went along with it because of the fit girl in the corner, who disappointingly only turns up in her undies. The slightly mongy receptionist turns up naked though, so there’s one pair of tits for the avid masturbator to quickly tease one out after 50 minutes of talking.
The last chap turns up in a pink posing pouch, with a pig’s face on the front. Cue a rubbish joke about the pig’s curly little tail. Oh, and it oinks when you squeeze it. I don’t understand why this exists, like you’re supposed to do a striptease wearing it, and then make her laugh with a cheesey pig’s face grinning back. And then making it oink. Is that what gets you going, ladies? Of course it is.
I dread to think what sort of search engine traffic this article will bring along.
